I sat

I sat here

and tried to write it out of me

I sat here

and tried to push myself to get it all out

All of it

Until there was nothing left

But there are words still inside me

That never found their way to the paper

There are words still inside of me

That feel stuck, unable to move

I still sit here

Wondering how to get them out

Wondering how to free myself of them

I sit here

The words swirling around deep inside of me

Swirling, swirling, swirling

The moment

On the surface you can only see so much

You can look into someones eyes

Feel their arms as they wrap them around you

Listen to their laughter

And smile with them

But deeper than that lives so much more

Passions

Dreams

Desire

The things that make them smile inside

Fill their lives with joy

The things they do not share with just anyone

But if you wait long enough

If you are patient

Kind and caring

They may just surprise you

And open up

You may find out about their love for reading

Their joy of being on stage

Or their desire to move back "home"

You may see a side of them you never knew was their

The one they keep safely concealed

Until they know you

Until they trust you

When someone shares these pieces of themselves with you

Your heart opens up a little bit more for them

You see a side of them you never knew was their

And feel privileged to witness it

Because of who you are

They felt comfortable enough to just be themselves

And that is a piece of what makes this life so beautiful

The connection that two people make

The moment when two souls share pieces of themselves with each other

h*o*p*e

hope

A small four letter word that holds so much within it

hope, hope, hope

There are many things in this world that I "hope" for

When things we hope for do not happen

We are left feeling disappointed, sad, and most likely upset

When things we hope for do happen

We are elated, filled with joy, and overwhelmed with happiness

Two different emotions stemming from one common thing

Hope

Is it worth it?

To hope for something?

To dream about it, envision what life would be like if it happen?

It is good to get excited about it, even though we do not know the outcome?

The potential let down can be devastating

But the thrill of it happening is joyous

So do you hold onto hope?

The feeling that what is wanted can be had?

Do you believe and trust that your desires will unfold before you?

Do you put your guard down and surrender to the potential of the unknown?

I know I do

** ~ are you hoping for anything these days?  if you are I would love to hear about it. ~ **

One Another

We were all there together

Gathered in one place

Each on own journey

Going through our own struggles

Celebrating our own successes

Each of us living our own lives

The Oregon Coast brought us to one another

Gave us the opportunity to slow down

Unearth ourselves

Let go of some of the things we were holding onto

Bring us back to who we are

It gave us the chance to see each other

Look deep into each others eyes

Embrace, hold hands, laugh, smile, and shed tears

It gave us so much more than we ever expected

Friendships were made

Life long bonds were formed

And each of us know we have little cheerleaders out there

Shaking their pom poms for our successes

Wiping our tears and standing beside us in our struggles

Always there for each other

Four days changed our lives forever

We are able to stand a little taller

Lean on each other for support

And know in our hearts we are there

Present for one another

Lost

Not sure where I am

Wandering

With my eyes closed

Ending up in unknown places

Not even sure how I arrived 

My strength has diminished

My smile has been lost

I can not seem to remember

And yet I can not seem to forget

Where am I?

How did I get here?

How do I get home?

YOU

If only you could see yourself

The way others see you

Even if it was 

For just a brief moment

If only you could see

The joy you bring

and the love you spread

by simply being you

All the pieces of you

Including the messy ones

and the ones not all together

All of them are you

It is all of these pieces 

That others love

And adore in you

And if only 

you

Could see and feel that 

Through their eyes

Then you would see

How incredible you really are

Just because you are YOU

Feeling the same

Sometimes we do not realize

how far we have come

until we take a step back

and look at where we were a year ago

I took a trip into my past

Looking back to April 16, 2009

What amazed me

was what I posted then

is so appropriate for how I feel today

So I am going to let those words

do the talking today

Because they speak so clearly

What I feel in my heart

Smile

She smiled

Because the world was so beautiful

And she was living in it

Cut deeply

Our eyes met

For a brief moment

The world stopped around me

The laughter from a few feet away

The sound of the someone walking up behind me

The worry of how I was going to get all of this done

All of it was silenced when our eyes interlocked and you waved

My hear skipped a beat

Butterflies filled my stomach

A smile formed across my checks

All of this may sound heavenly

But oh

How I wish it did not happen

I wish I could walk past you and feel

Nothing

But I do

I feel it

It cuts me deep inside

And I must continue on

As if it were a normal day

Kindness

It does not have to be large

Huge or substantial

It does not have to take up a lot of time

Or extreme dedication

It can be as simple as extending a hand

Taking a moment to listen

Letting the person behind you go first

Or simply just smiling at a stranger

It is these small moments 

That make such a huge difference

The unexpected thoughtfulness 

The unanticipated kind remark

Something so tiny for you

Could mean the world to someone else

Brighten someones day

Remind them that there is still good in the world

So, I dare you

To take take that moment

And do something for someone else

Remember it is the smallest actions that lead to great things

*I would love to hear all about the kindness you are spreading to others

Lets sprinkle it all around so it sparkles like glitter* 

She

She wonders what it was that brought her here

To this moment

To this feeling

To this deep need to feel more

She wonders if she will ever know

If she will ever get it right

If she will ever be able to trust that little voice

If her heart will ever know her true calling

She wonders why it can be so tough at times

Why the struggles seem never ending

Why the tears pour down her cheek

Why she feels so alone

She knows that she is deeply loved

She is seen and accepted

She is filled with magic and joy

She is surrounded by support

She stands

Feet planted firmly on the ground

Standing tall

Head held high

This is her moment

And she knows she must continue on

I must

I must show up

Put pen to paper

Be in the moment

Let my heart and soul speak

I must let it flow through me

The secret words longing to be expressed

No longer holding onto them

I must be flexible

Let my hand take me where my heart wants to go

Never questioning why

I must be brave

And trust the process

Simply moving right along

I must be

right

here