Thursday, December 28, 2006

Buen dia!

Christian, his dad, and I took a trip into NYC before Christmas to experience the city during it's most brilliant time. I am only getting around to posting the photos now, but it was a really great day.

Me and my Baby at the Top of the Rock, in Rockefeller Center.

We made it up there just in time to see the sunset.

How glorious.

Christian was getting a little hungry, so he decided to eat the Empire State Building!

Christian and his father.

Christmas Time in NYC

Friday, December 22, 2006

An Interesting Conversation

I met the most interesting gentlemen the other night at work. When he first came in I gave him my whole spiel and I thought he was kindly listening as I aksed in the very end what I could get him to drink. But then he motioned to me that he was deaf. How silly I felt then for rambling on about Boneless Buffalo Wings and Margaritas. He motioned for a pen and papar and I handed it over. I got him what his Sam Adams and handed him a menu.

He was alone and seemed to be enjoying the basketball game which was on the television. I was chatting with some of my friends who happend to have stopped by the bar that night. The gentlemen got my attention and he showed me what he would like for dinner and I wrote out the normal questions I would ask in regard to his order.

It was extremly interesting to communicate with him through writing. This was my first experience waiting on someone who was deaf. After he finished eating we someone how started to engage in converstion. The entire conversation which was quiet lengthy took place on sheets and sheets of receipt tape and napkins.

Mars had an extremly interesting story to tell. Usually with customers the conversation is general...about the weather or sports...small talk. However since we were writing to one another we seemed to skip over the small talk. It was easy for me to do becaues I have no problem expressing my thoughts and ideas in writing, but when it comes to talking sometimes my tongue gets tied. So this conversation was easy and fun. We talked about family, how he felt about where he lived, what type of work he was doing it, how it felt to be deaf. He wrote me an incredible story about his life. Everyone life is interesting, however when somone has had an experience that is so far from your own it becomes intriguing. Mars has had such an experience.

Because of the writing we really got to know one another. Was it because there was more freedom there. If I didn't want to answer one of his questions or vice versa, I didn't have to. I could just write something else. This left the possiblity to be more daring and intimate with the questions. However what was missing was eye contact. He would scribble something, I would read it, I would respond, he would read it....and on it went in a circle. I was constantly reading or writing. I rarely looked up.

I really enjoyed our conversation that night, and it was really intersting how it took place. One of the other customers was intrigued by what was taking place and asked me if I was writing a book. :) We sorta wrote a short story. :) At the end of the night I felt the need to tell my manager just because I knew he was wondering what was going on as well. And his response was "Oh I was wondering what was the deal with that man."

Mars doesn't live around here but I do hope to see him again sometime. He was a very interesting gentlemen, and I really enjoyed our writing conversation. I would love to have another someday.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

One Little Drop

Have you heard of One Little Drop? This website is absolutly divine. There mission is to change the world one little drop at a time, and all of us are simply little drops adding up to an enormous ocean of change.

I have always wanted to do something to make a difference. To help someone less fortunate than me. Sure I donate money to charity, and I know it is going to a good cause, but by doing that I don't feel like I am doing much. (does that make any sense?) One Little Drop makes it seem possible. Possible to help, possible to give things which indiviudal's really need. It also gives me a strong urge to move to San Francisco.

San Francisico seems like such a magical place. In my heart I feel like I should be there. Also after Sara's description of the wonderful enviorment surrounding her, I wanted to pack my bags and move that very instant.

Another fabulous thing this website is doing is The International Day Of Possibility. A single day dedicated to positive thinking. To thinking that you can do anything! We really all should be doing this every day, but just imagine the positive energy that would float through the world if we all thought positivly for an entire day? Oh I can feel some of the energy already.

So what are you doing June 21st, 2007? I am thinking anything is possible that day!!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006


Last Saturday we celebrated my Aunt Alice's 40th birthday. And oh what a celebration is was. It was so exciting that she truly was surprised. During the night each of her eleven brothers and sisters got up and said a little something about her. It brought tears to my eyes. She is the youngest child of eleven and will do anything for everyone. She truly deserved to be celebrated that night.

Happy Birthday Aunt Alice!

Thursday, November 23, 2006


I am grateful for...
The sun shining down on my face
The sound of music in my ears
My wonderful family, who loves me regardless of my shortcomings
The friendships I have formed
The little things that make me smile
and for the mystery of what life holds in store for me

Monday, November 20, 2006


and Falling again.

On the ground unable to get up
Feeling glued to the pavement.

Cold, shaking,
wet from my own tears.


Feeling powerless
Feeling helpless

Not sure what do
Feeling I cannot do anything at all

Unknown Author

Our Sonnet

Sweet Lady, song of my heart,
Hold my hand, as this journey we start.
Lift me up in spirit of joy and gladness;
And shield my soul from heartbreak and sadness.
Steadfast, honest and true;
Your partner is here and will forever love you.

It is my prayer that I will always be;
The one who brings you joy and sets your spirit free.
With my love I’ll cover you and warm your soul with mine;
Give you pleasures – like none you will find.
Your Sweet Lady, song of your heart;
Will love you forever, together or apart.

So hear me Sweet Lady, and know in your soul;
That there is no better future than with you to grow old.
Endless caresses, touches and kisses;
Our passion a banner for our love’s true existence.
My hand I extend and my honor I offer;
For being with you my love, there is no greater pleasure.

Your hand I accept, and all your love as well;
My heart sings so loudly, all can tell
I am loved and in love with the man made for me
Hold my hand; let us walk through this life
Being what we were meant to be

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Borrowed words

I came across this quote ....I feel as though it is speaking right to my heart.

"One must never despair upon losing something, whether it is an individual or an experience of joy or happiness; everything returns even more magnificently. What has to decline, declines; what belongs to us, stays with us, for everything works according to laws that are greater than our capacity for understanding and that only seem to contradict us. You have to live within yourself and think of all of life, all of its millions of possibilities, openings, and futures in relation to which there exists nothing that is past or has been lost." -Rainier Maria Rilke

Monday, November 13, 2006

Theme Song

We should all have a theme song. A song that gives us inspiration when we are down, cheers us up, and possibly gets a dancing a little bit. I have stumbled upon my theme song. Well not really stumbled. I have know this song, and love it. In fact I love all of Jack Johnson's music. And how can you not enjoy a song where curious george is in the video.

"Upside Down" is such a fabulous song. The words speak right to my heart and put's a little pep into my step after I hear it.

What is your theme song?

Sunday, November 05, 2006


I feel I have grown stronger, wiser, happier, more sure of myself.
However I know someone who is my mirror of the past.
Looking to please others, not knowing how to say no, weak, unhappy.

She is sweet and kind, caring to others
But there are times when I cannot stand her.
It makes me mad to think that I was that way.

I think it is sad that she does not see her worth,
like I was unable to see mine.
And she is worth so much more!

When I see her I think:
Was I really that pathetic?
Did I really have no self worth for myself?
Why didn't I respect who I was?
Am I still that way now? Is that why I am upset?

I want to be sure I respect myself.
Am caring to myself.
And make choices based on these two things.

I want to enjoy life,
Not have life trample me

I want to be able to see the sunshine,
and enjoy it.

I want to laugh,
and laugh with others.

I am not trying to change my mirror,
Because she has to go through her own struggle.
I am trying to change myself.
I want to make sure I am brave, strong, happy, respecting myself, and others

It worries me though because we often pick out qualities in others which we truly dislike about ourself.
I don't want to be that scared little girl anymore.
I don't feel like her anymore.

I feel brave.
I feel strong.
I feel like I respect myself.
Is my mirror cloudy, or is she still a mirror of me today?

"Cause the weak will
Seek the weaker until they've broken them,
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same?
Fulfillment to their lack of strength
At your expense,
Left you with no defense,
They tore it down.

And I have felt the same, as you I've felt the same,
As you I've felt the same

Cause the fearful always preyed upon your confidence,
Did they see the consequence?
They pushed you around?
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones,
Breaking them 'til they've become,
Just another crown,

And I have felt the same, as you I've felt the same,
As you I've felt the same, as you I've felt the same."


Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!!

Christian and I picked our pumpkins and brought them home safe and sound.

Then we got too carving! :)

Enjoy the tricks and treats. I am going to enjoy my last day being 25!!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Feeling blind

November 30th the lease to our apartment is up. That is our last day here. I am really sad about that and also feel really lost. I love this apartment. I love the location. I love the pool. I love being here. It is just two expensive. I feel like all our money goes to rent and I want to be able to do more, like take vacations. We started to look for other apartments but everything in this area is expensive and it is already taken. Looking for a studio but those are hard to come by. I do feel confidant that we will find something but at the same time, a month goes by extremly fast. I feel blind about what the future holds and about where we will be. Please send me lucky thoughts to find a place.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The Journey Begins

While exploring the internet I found and individual who keeps a "well being checklist". A list of the ten most important things which she needs during her day. This inspired me to keep my own checklist. The idea is to accomplish at least seven out of the ten and to have a weekly average of 70%.

However what would be my ten most important things which I want - - need, from my day. What do I need? I have given it a lot of thought and have come up with eight. Here they are with two more to come:

"My well being checklist"

1. Sleep

At least eight good solid hours of sleep, waking up no later than ten a.m.

2. Exercise

A video, going to the gym, a hike, a bicycle ride, tennis, a walk. Anything to keep me active and going

3. Eating well

Consuming healthier things other than chocolate and cereal. Actually taking the time to cook.

4. Laughing

Enjoying a good laugh through reading something, hearing something, talking with someone, or through a media device.

5. Personal connections with others

Not just going through life blindly but truly connecting with others.

6. Creative Time

Time spent doing creative things. Playing the keyboard, creating something, taking photos.

7. Reading

Time spent enjoying reading.

8. Learning

Time spent learing something new.

So I still have to come up with two more. Two more things I need each day. I want to begin this checklist and keep up with it. I want to be dedicated to myself. My spirit, my growth, and my potential. The journey is only begining. I know it will be a long journey with many bumps in the road. But I am willing to try it. I turn twenty six soon. And as scary as it is for me to say the words twenty six it is exciting. And the adventure is just beginning.


How come these things can never be easy
Why do we tend to forget the wonderful things


They cloud our minds
What about the times when we were happy


Where did that go?
Could such a thing just be washed down the drain?

Memories erased
or fading into the background
How does one keep the good times close?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Understanding why

I enjoy intelligent conversation.
Hearing about current events.
Listening to others talk.

However my heart years for more.
I like to understand the "why."
I want to know why people do the things they do.

I also yearn to know what really interest someone.
Not the basic things like television shows or music,
but what really makes their heart run wild.

I want to know about goals, dreams, and desires.
Who they really are as a person.
What they really want to accomplish.

Not only with others, but with myself.
I want to understand why I do the things I do.
Why I care about the things I do.
Why I am here
and what I really want to accomplish.

It will be a journey,
difficult at times
but in the end I know it will be worth the pain.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The telephone

I am not a fan of the telephone
You will never catch me having long phone conversations,
and if you do it is against my will.
When the phone rings I seldom answer it
I also seldom look to even see who is calling.
If it is important they will leave a message,
and then I have the choice to call back--If I want.

I do not have a phone in my apartment.
No need for two telephones if I do not even answer the one I do have.
Remeber the days though when you did not know who was calling.
You picked up the phone and it was a surprise as to who was at the other end.
That made aswering the phone fun,
you never knew what you were going to get.

Now the days of caller id has changed that.
You always know who is on the other end.
It has become real easy to avoid people.

I would much rather meet in person,
talk face to face.
The phone is so impersonal.
I try to make my phone conversations as short as possible.
Often avoiding talking about everything, and giving the shortest possible answer.

Granted my cell phone has come in handy, many times
But I coudl have figured it out without the security of the phone.
I possibly would have had an adventure if things weren't so simple.
And there is nothing wrong with a good adventure.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


The ability to choose
the ability to dream
the ability to laugh and smile
and do what makes me happy

The choice is there
Infinite possibility

A beautiful day makes me happy
A sunset makes me smile
I can see my laugh lines when I look in the mirror
My eyes reflecting my every emotion

The world is in the palm of my hands
Weighted only by the weight of my own heart
At times it feels extremly heavy,
other times it is as light as air

The feeling of the sand under my feet
The smell of salt in the air by the ocean
The sound of the waves crashing up on the shore
The simplicity of it all

The choice is there
Infinite possibility

To dream big dreams
To live the happiness
To feel fulfilled
To be who I am, all of me!

Sunday, October 08, 2006


Can you imagine the changes ahead
The difference in how things will be
Are you ready for this
For this enormous change
Where are you going to go
Will you be happy there
Is that what you really want

What if you make the wrong decision
What if you regret what you have done

What if you made the right decision
What if you are happier than you imagined

The decision is in your hands
Don't fret to much

Saturday, October 07, 2006


Holding on tighlty
Trying to force my grip to let go
Wanting to scream,
Holding on
Letting go
Not sure which to do
Being pulled in both directions
Looking for the answer


The paing has not be subsided

Friday, October 06, 2006

Random scribblings for a random friday

You knows those online surveys they send around. Usually I never answer is the exception.

*While driving down the road, and looking for an address, do you turn the radio down?
Yes, because the music hides the numbers.

*Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make?
Whatever I was in the mood for because I could cook anything. Currently that would be pizza!

*What is your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?
There is not much to choose from, but I would have to go with my brown flip flops

Because I love wearing sandles

*If you could quit your job right now, and be anything you wanted, what would it be?
A school teacher

*What do you think of when you look at the stars?
How big the sky is and how amazing it is that no matter where you are in the world that is one thing that will always be there. They sky will always be above you.

*When you add someone into your cell phone, do you use there real name, or there nickname?
I use whichever name will help me to remember who they are.

*If you use there real name, do you add there last name?
Only if that is what I call them inside my head.

*If you could say ONE THING to the president, what would it be?
What are you thinking??

*Would you ever get a personalized license plate?
Only if I could think of something clever enough to put on it. In other parts of the country personalized license plates are are a big thing, right sara.

*If yes, would would it say?
I have not thought of anything clever enough yet

*Before you go to sleep at night, what do you think of?
What I need to do the next day and what is going on in my life

*How many times do you change clothes in one day?
Probally three times

*If you were just getting home from drinking at 2 am and you were hungry, would you eat? If yes, what?
If I could find something to eat. There is usually not much food in my cuboards

*What is favorite thing to do on a night out with friends?
Just hang out and talk

*Lets say you can't find 2 socks that match will you wear 2 different ones?

*Do you like to get flowers?
I love to get flowers. In highschool three years in a row someone sent me flowers on my birthday from a secret admirer. To this day I have no idea who sent them. I would love to know.

*So you are driving and a squirrel runs in front of your car, do you swerve?

*Women - Have you or would you take your husband's last name?
I would, but I will still miss Belthoff

*Do you prefer older or younger partners? Or do you not care about age?
I tend to go for older, but that is not always the case

*Favorite salad dressing?
I am not a big salad fan

*You get to change one thing about yourself, what is it?
My voice. It wish I sounded more confidant

*What band can you say you like every song they make?
Jack Johnson. I love him!

*What was the last song you had stuck in your head?
Upside down by Jack Johnson

*Are you allergic to anything?
Not that I know of

*Would you rather get a letter in the mail, or an email?
A real letter in the mail. It is nice to have more than just bills.

*Suppose someone comes up to you on the street claiming to know you from way back; but you don’t remember them. Do you go along with them or ask them who they are?
Oh this has happened. And I just go along with it. But then I wonder if they knew that I really had no idea who they were.

*Have you ever had to be taken to the Hospital?
All the time as a kid. For some reason I was very clumsy.


- 4th grade teacher's name:
Mrs. Conti. And that was the year I got a perm in my hair. Oh how funny!!

- Last song you sang:
Upside down by Jack Johnson. I am still singing it now in my head

- Last person you hugged:

- Last thing you laughed at:
Chester. The conversation went like this:

Chester: I am terrible with names, what is your name again
Me: Jennifer
Chester: Stephanie
Me: Jennifer
Chester: Stephanie
Me: Jennifer
Chester Stephanie

I was histerical. And I wanted to say to him: "I am sorry I am terrible with names to is your name Chester, then he would say John, and I would say Chester." It would have been classic.

- What color socks are you wearing:
I am not wearing any. I love flip flops, remember

- What's under your bed:

- What time did you wake up today:
11:30, what a lazy bum am I.

- Current Taste:
What ever clothes I have in my closet. Although slowly but surely I am trying to find a sophisticated style. Something to take me int o my teaching carear

- Current hair:
The longest I have ever had it my whole life.

- Current annoyance:
I want to have better posture. Yet I tend to go back to not standing up straight.

- Current longing:
For my apartment to be clean with the snap of my fingers, and for it to be warm out again. I hate the cold!!!

- Current desktop background:
A picture of Christian

- If you could be any instrument what would you be:
The piano, because I really want to learn how to play it.

- Favorite color(s):
I love the color blue, and I tend to wear brown all the time. My nickname seems to be "brown lady"

- How tall are you:
Five six I think.

- Current favorite word/saying:
"darlin" with an accent. Yet I only let myself say it in my head.

- Favorite Show:
The Ellen Show. Who doesn't like to dance and laugh??

- favorite season:

- What is your career going to be like:
Fun. I am goign to be a teacher, surrounded by little kids who look up to me. I will get to color, and paint, laugh, and play.

- How many kids do you want :
I used to want ten but I would love to have three or four.


- Said "I love you":

- Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish, etc?:
No, I don't have any pets

- Have you ever been to New York:
Yes indeed.

- Been to Florida:
Oh the Florida Keys, how fun!!

- Been to California:
I drove to there from New Jersey. And met so many funny people and have so many wonderful memories.

- Been to Canada:
Orientation for Ramapo College. Not sure why we went there to be oriented to Ramapo. But going away with a bunch of people I never met before in my life was a great expereince. Although it was freezing there.

- Been to mexico:
Not yet, but I definitly plan to get there.

- Been to Europe:

- Been to Australia:

- Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day?:
My dreams sometimes feel so real that I feel like I am dreaming about something that happened already, but I don't really remember it happeneing. Then I wasn't sure if it actually did happen or if it was just a dream. Got it?

- What book are you reading now?:
I tend to read a couple of books at the same time. Currently I am reading:
Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. (I highly recommend it.)
Three Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks
Romeo and Juliet for class
The Jeruselum Bible for class

- Where is it?:
The first two on the side of my bed, and the other two on my desk or in my bag

- What is the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning:
Go to the bano

- How many rings before you answer:
My cell phone depends upon where it is but usually the machine takes the call
At work I love answering the phone
At my parents house never. No one even moves when the phone rings

- Future daughter's names:
No idea. All the names I used to like have been ruined by meeting people with these names

- Future son's names:
Same problem as with the girls names

- What do you wear to sleep in:
My pj's

- Where are you:
At the computer at my desk

- Where do you wish you were?:
Anywhere warm

- Piercings:
My ears

- What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use:
I switch it up all the time. Currently I think it is Pantenee

- Who is the last person that called you:
Kathleen left a wonderful message how I am going to get arthritis

- Where do you want to get married:
On la playa

- If you could change anything about your life what would it be?:
That I was better with money

- Been In Love:

- Are you timely or always late:
Usually exactly on time or a few minutes late

- Do you have a job:
Indeed I do

- Do you like being around people:
Usually, but I also cherish my alone time

- Best feeling in the world:
Watching the sunset

- Are you a health freak:
If you concider chocolate a health food them I am the healthiest person around

- Do you have a "Type" of person u always go for?:

- Are you lonely right now:

- Do you want kids:
I think so


- Cried :
Not that I can remember

- Bought something:
Some paper to use for my traveling journal

- Gotten Sick:

- Sang:
Absolutly. I sing every day. And when it is not out loud ususally a song is singing my head

- Said I Love You:

- Talked to someone:

- Had a serious talk:

- Missed Someone:

- Hugged Someone:
Yes indeed

- Kissed Someone:

Monday, October 02, 2006

Being remembered

I was recognized today
By two people from long ago
I used to play kick ball with them,
draw smiley faces,
and enjoy the summer.
They made me smile.

And today they made me smile a great big smile,
when the recognized me.
That was always a question I had,
the children I worked with would remember me?
These two boys did:) !!

What a great joy to know that someone remembers you!

Friday, September 15, 2006


Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a girl.
She was strong and she was brave.
She faced the world head on and always went for what she wanted.
She was never afraid to say no, and never afraid to ask for what her heart desired.

This girl was happy.

She was true to herself.
She created magical things.
She read wonderful books and,
She took amazing pictures with her camera.

The girl was happy.

She loved music, and dancing.
She was a great dancer.
She also loved to sing.
Her voice sounded so sweet.

The girl was happy.

She surrounded herself with people she loved
and people who loved her.
They all loved, trusted, and respected one another.
It was a beautiful thing.

The girl was happy.

***This fairytale is not be continued another day***

If only my life could be like this fairytale!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006


I learned in class today that connecting with another human being is what an individual craves.
The connection is important.
Humans can measure so many things, but it is the immeasurable which keeps our minds going.
It keeps us wanting more and wondering what is next.

An important key to all of this is trust
Trust in who we are
Trust in who we know
Trust in what we want from life
Trust in the world that surrounds us.

What happens though when trust is not there?
What happens when the one you trust does not trust you?
Where does this lead you?
Where are you going?

Gaining someone's trust is not an easy task
yet it is an important one.

Do you trust me?
Will you trust me?
How will our relationship be without trust?
Where can we go from here?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Knowing the past

I am back in school and the first two professors I have had so far asked the same question. They asked us to name our great grandparents. I found it very interesting that both professors asked this and that only a few number of people in the class could answer. I was one of the many who could not. They are our flesh and blood, the reason we are here, and yet they are forgotten. I have some memories of one of my great grandmothers, yet I cannot recall her name. How terribly sad.

Why is it that we do not research our family history more? Why do we not explore further why we are here and who the people are that lead to our creation. Why do we just keep pressing on never looking that far back?

Life is brimming with so many things. So many incomprehensible things. So much information. There is just so much out there. I am not sure as humans we are able to take it all in and make sense of everything. We must pick and choose what we feel is important. Possibly our fear of dying and non existence doesn't want to take us to the past. We want to keep pressing on so that we are taken further ahead instead of further behind.

However maybe the key to who we are lies within those people. Maybe they hold a piece of the puzzle. They are part of the line of how I got here, isn't that important enough. Possible I need to explore these people further, take the time to get to know them, and maybe then I will learn a lot more about me. Not only through them but through the people who will share the stories of them. It may be time to explore my family tree.

They key to the future is hidden in the past.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Fabulous words

I am in search of inspiring, fabulous, wonderful words. I am not looking for quotes but rather single words that spark a chord in your heart. Some on my list so far are:


My brain is stumped. For some reason I cannot come up with the words which I really desire on my list. I need help finding them. What are some of your favorite words? Maybe they are the words I have been looking for. I can feel the words in my heart but am not sure what they are. Please help!!!

I really need to get my traveling journal in motion. My aunt asked me about it today, which makes me excited but also upset that I have not executed the idea yet. The idea is there I just need to execute it as brilliantly as I see it in my head. I want it to come out fabulous, which I know in the end it will. I really need to put together the journal and come up with what I want to contribute. I was thinking of a poem, possible some painting, or a collage. Hopefully inspiration will pour down into my head as heavy as the rain has fallen today.

Thursday, August 31, 2006


"Your dreams are not yours by accident.
You have them for a reason, many reasons,
not the least of which is to make them come true.
Your dreams, ARE WHAT'S MEANT TO BE!"

Your dreams are yours for a reason.
Never stop dreaming.
Keep your dreams close to your heart,
and know they are meant to be.

Without our dreams what would we be?
Hollow souls wondering what can fill us?
Feeling empty inside because we have no hopes or desires.
Our dreams make us real, the make us feel, they makes who we are.

So point your head to they sky and keep nourishing your dreams.
Dream baby, dream!!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006



Riding the roller coaster

Constantly coming around the corners
making the sharp turns
and dropping down the hills

Wanting the ride to stop
Screaming as every hill is approaching
Trapped inside the strap

Feeling safe
and like I am going to die
All within the same breathe

Not sure when this torture will stop

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Spent the weekend down the shore and had such a wonderful time.
It is so nice to be around family and reminisce about my childhood.
There were some things my brothers remembered that I did not.
It was such a wonderful time.
Moments like this, remembering the past, really make life beautiful.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Good times!

I just wanted to share this photo today. It was from when I visited Key West Florida, what a fabulous place. We drove around for awhile looking for a spot and then decided just to park in the lot. Our car is right in the middle of the photo. As soon as we walked ot of the lot we noticed the empty spot we drove right past...Classic. Oh how funny. It is moments like this which makes life memorable.

Not harboring unhealthy thoughts

I am in the middle of Elizabeth Gilbert's; "Eat, Pray, Love" and am enjoying every sentence. What I was reading today resonated with me so much that I wanted to share it here. There is no need for background knowledge of the book just this quote:

"I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore"

Unhealthy thoughts do us no good. They only bring us down, make us angry, and never get us where we want to be. So I need to start taking control. Control of my thoughts. Understanding my unhealthy thoughts, and then letting them go. Setting them out to sail in the ocean.

A wooden sail boat set on fire with each unhealthy thought inside. The boat slowly burns, creating an amazing glow on the ocean, and slowly each unhealthy thought sinks to the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen again.

When unhealthy thoughts enter my head I need to repeat:
"I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore"

I tried this today. Repeating this every time an unhealthy thought entered my head. I felt more at peace with myself, and a lot happier. I did not let my anger control me instead I controlled my anger. It felt good to be in control. I think I will stick with this one for awhile, I just hope in my time of need I remember it.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Following through

I always have these fabulous ideas
Things I want to do
Goals I want to accomplish


I never follow through
I Never follow through

I love my ideas
I love thinking about them
thinking about how I want to accomplish them


I never follow through
I Never follow through


Why can I not follow through with my grand plans and schemes?
Why do I love what I want to do but never do it?

Learning Spanish
Taking more photographs
Working on my scrapbooks

I have began all these things,
yet here they sit today...Unfinished

I wish I could hold myself accountable,
Maybe I need some help??

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I have received comments on my blog and it makes me so happy. Somebody actually is reading this besides myself :)

Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read about my life through my eyes!! I hope you continue reading.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

I love...

I love being in the outdoors,
experiencing the sunshine, the feel of fresh spring grass under my feet, and sand between my toes.
I love swimming in a pool on a hot day.
I love the ocean,
taking long walks on the beach, finding beautiful shells, hearing the sound of the ocean, and smelling the salty air.
I love adventure,
taking the path no one has ventured on before, seeing things I never noticed, and doing thinngs I never planned on.
I love travel,
going to new places even if they are just around the block.
I love creating,
taking photos, writing, making collages.
I love reading,
curling up with a good book on a cold winters day, or lying in the sunshine enjoying each page.
I love to laugh,
at corny jokes, movies, or comedians.
I love being around children,
there sense of wonder opens my eyes to new things.

These are just a few of the things I love!
My question however is,
what is the difference between things you love and things you are passionate about?

My passion is......??

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Cloud Coverage

The clouds have seem to overcast my desire to take more photgraphs. I need the sunshine to help fill me with inspiration. I need to hear the birds chirping and see the green grass with the sun shining brightly on it. My heart is yearning for the sun.

"Oh mr. sun, sun mr. golden sun,
please shine down on me
Oh mr. sun sun mr. golden sun,
hiding behind the tree
Jennifer is asking you to please come out
so she can play with you
Oh mr. sun, sun mr. golden sun,
please shine down on me."

Hopefully the days to come will be filled with sunny like Friday was. I need those days. Lets all keep our fingers crossed.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Pieced together

The decision of how you want your life to be lies within your own hands.

The choice is there for you to make,
for you to make.
So make the choice which is best for you,
best for you.

It is only you who will have to live with the consequences.
Other may not understand

But that is alright, as long as you understand,
as long as you understand.

You know what makes you happy,
You know what you need to do,
You know where you want to be and how you are going to get there.

Follow your own heart and live the life that you need to live!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Simply Wonderful

What a wonderful family weekend getaway I had. It was so nice to have off from work and be in a different environment than here. Life seems so much simpler and happiness seems to great you each morning. It is simply wonderful. I shared a lot of laughs with my family and really enjoyed myself. I also got to see Brian and Laurie's wedding video for the first time. It is so beautiful. They really did a wonderful job with it. I am super excited for Bobby and Erika's wedding now.

Every now and then we need to take a break from the every day and step outside of "our" world. Their is so much pleasure and beauty out there, why do we not take the time to experience it? Getting away for a few days was just what I needed. Hopefully throughout the summer I will get a few more chances to simply slip away.

Look around you, beauty is everywhere. You just need to be willing to see it. The world is simply wonderful!!

Saturday, July 01, 2006


Off for the weekend for some relaxation and family love. Be back Tuesday!!