Sunday, September 30, 2012

end of the road

photo credit:  dustin pita

Sometimes we come to the end of the road
A road we traveled many many miles on
Along the way we hit a lot of bumps
Got taken off course
Stumbled, fell, and kept on going
Arriving at the end we thought we would be greeted with celebration
Trumpets blowing
Fans cheering
But instead a deep silence envelopes us
Tears of sadness spill out
This was not the ending we had thought it was going to be

We fought so hard along the way to keep it together
Make it work
Figure things out
There were moments of deep hurt
But also times of intense joy
Together we trampled each others hearts
And nudged the other forward to their next success
A constant up and down
Never knowing what was going to be around the next corner

It is here at the end that we both know we must go our separate ways
Struggling to say that final goodbye
Reminiscing about the good times
Forgetting momentarily about the scars that have been etched

But the time has come
Each of us must step bravely into the future
Carrying the lessons learned
Tucking the memories safely into our back pockets
Moving forward
Finding ourselves
Going after our hearts truest calling

Thursday, September 27, 2012

the beauty of retreat

There are certain moments in life that become milestones.  You use them to measure the passing of time, like you use the days of the week or the hours on a clock. Holidays, birthdays, new years can be like that.  For me, art retreats have become a measurement of how far I have traveled.

When I was shy and unsure of myself I was standing on the edge of squam lake for the very first time.  A whole new world of creative possibilities spilled open for me.  Standing amidst that beauty I vowed to myself that some way, somehow I would incorporate into my life one art retreat a year.

In 2009 I hoped on a plane and traveled all the way across the country to Oregon.  I discovered bravery inside me that I did not even know existed.  I sat amongst a group of women and openly shared my writing.  Through their love and support the seed that I may be a writer was planted.

It wasn't until the following year when I was standing alongside the ocean on the east coast that I knew and felt deep within that yes, I am a writer indeed.  Fabulous women surrounding me.  Laughter bubbling up.  Beautiful sunrises calming my soul.   Magic swirling, swirling, swirling.

In 2011 I worked with two others to create a s.p.a.c.e to sink deeply into.  Gathered in the warm sunlight of Sedona Arizona I witnessed firsthand dreams coming true.  Connections blossoming.  Life unfolding beautifully to the music of my own creation.  A divine bonus moment in time.

Later that year I traveled back to the sea.  A bit battered, unraveled, vulnerable.  I was held gently.  Created passionately.  Healing words poured from my heart.  Deep conversation and creating long into the night fueled my spirit.

This year I went back to the place it all began five years ago.  I stood at the edge of the lake; strong, confidante, happy, open.  My heart overflowing with love and support.  Soulful conversations spilled open.  I felt seen for me, exactly as I am.

Each year has stretched me in so many unexpected ways.  Growing, healing, giving, learning.  All of it guiding me back to me.  Providing me a space to retreat.  A place to heal.  A moment to just be, as I am.  My life has been forever changed by each of these little getaways.  The destination doesn't matter.  What is important is the journey that it takes to get there, the openness to just be there, and the courage to keep that fire burning throughout the year.

When you are passionate about something and you gather with individuals who are passionate about the same thing.....magic....pure magic happens.  You can't control how wide it will expand, or how deeply you will be touched.  All you can do is stand in it, soak it all in, and say yes.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

between two worlds

My mind is struggling to focus
Pain running through my body from sitting in this seat
Dust falling onto the pile of work
Unable to begin

Ideas in my mind are blooming
Jotting notes down
Reaching out for advice
Wanting to begin, right this moment

Caught between two worlds
Getting pulled and pushed
Struggling to navigate both paths
Seeking balance between the two worlds

Monday, September 17, 2012

returning :: re-entering :: reflecting

I just spent five magical days in the woods of New Hampshire gathering with friends and like minded souls.  Stories were shared, dreams nurtured, words of love circling around.  Something powerful happens when individuals gather.  You see it at sporting events, feel the electricity at a concert, and even come upon it deep in the woods.

I entered these same woods five years ago ~ shy ~ quiet ~ unsure of myself ~ not knowing who I was.  This time I emerged ~ grounded ~ strong ~ glowing ~ with a strong sense of who I am.  It is beautiful to look back on the journey.  To see where I was those five years ago and feel the strength, love, and courage I know embody.  I am blessed to have witnesses to these moments.  Individuals who were there five years ago and who stand beside me today, reflecting back to me all that has evolved.

I have many stories about moments in the woods.  Words rolling around in my head that I want to share with you.  But for now I will leave you with some words dear friends of mine have written.  Hop on over to there sites as they eloquently share what it was like to gather, to be seen, to show up, and to just be.

** Mindy Lacefield  ~ Squam
** Wish Studio ~  truly madly deeply :: postcards from Squam

Monday, September 10, 2012


The journey began
With one single step towards each other
A glance from a distance
A warm hello
And the rest is history

It was unexpected
I was not even looking
Soaking in the beauty of friendship
And self discovery
And then he came along

He never tried to take me off my path
He stood beside me, cheering me on
Wishing me luck on my next adventure
Helping me brainstorm my next big idea
Believing that I could make it happen

He keeps me grounded
Makes me laugh, a lot
Holds my hand
And pulls me in close with a simple look
He makes me feel like I am home

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

one year

Sitting side by side
One year later
One year stronger
Soaking in all the love
Taking a walk through our memories
Laughter erupting
Going back to our first date
Our first meeting
The very first time he walked in

The year flew by in a blink of an eye
We feel as if we have known each other forever
Going through our memories
We see how far we have come
How much is held dear to us
How close we have grown
How intersected we are

A year ago we were each traveling alone
Carving our own paths
Trying to figure it all out
But now we have each other
To lean on
To laugh with
To remember

It has been a beautiful year

Monday, September 03, 2012

summer time gratitude

How do you sum up an entire summer filled with so much
Where do you begin to touch on all the plane rides you took to far away places
The people you met
The adventures life handed you
How do you explain the laughter
The memories created
The family fun that brought your closer together
Where do you start to tell about the love that filled the air
The warm summer nights
The hot days on the bicycle
The day you finally made it up the enormous hill
Baseball game, after baseball game
Cheering for your favorite team
Sitting around the fire
Wishing on stars
Walking through the streets
Cups filled with ice cream
Pictures taken
New memories created
In a few simple words how do you tell the story
Of where these roads have taken you
New ventures started
Connections made
So much swirling around under the hot summer sun
It all begins somewhere
And all falls into place another day
With Autumn on the rise these memories of summer will settle
A big smile on my face
A heart filled with love
Life is so beautiful
And filled with so much joy
I am forever grateful

Saturday, September 01, 2012

feel today

Seek out the beauty that is around you
Look for the rays of sunshine that light up your days
The small glimmers of hope that whisper secret messages to you
Love is swirling all around
Be open to letting it in
Feel the kindness and the tenderness that passes through each day
Be present in today