Friday, February 29, 2008

Leaving and Receiving Love Notes.

I find it a bit frightening to leave love notes around.  What if people find them and then find me, and then confront me about it.  What would they say?  What would I say?  Would they mock me, think I was silly, think I was stupid?  Would they put me down and make me feel bad?  Every time I leave a note a small sense of fright washes over me.  

I left one the other day on the first floor of my new office building.  I am still to chicken to leave one on my own floor.  Before leaving for the day I had to use the bathroom, and so I stopped on the first floor and entered the bathroom where I had left my love note earlier in the day.  

When I left the note I hung it neatly on the back of one of the bathroom with stalls.  A little surprised to be discovered by some un-expecting stranger.  I hung it with pride, fright, and a little sense of freedom.  When I walked into the bathroom their it was, on the floor.  Devastation flooded my body going directly to my heart.  Saddness for my heart felt love note which read:

To a new day and another chance to get it right."

I choose this one carefully for the office, hoping that it would make someone smile or brighten their stressful day.  And their it was---on the floor.  With tender loving hands I scooped up my note and placed it safely into my bag.  My heart was sad.   

Seeing the love note on the floor got the wheels in my head turning.  I thought about how difficult it is for some people to receive gifts.  They could be right their for the taking and yet we drop them instead of carrying them along with us.  Sometimes we even look right past the gifts being offered to us and we don't accept them.  

If I saw this note hanging on the back of the bathroom door I am not so sure I would have picked it up myself.  It surely would have made my day, made me think happy thoughts, and made me smile...but I don't think I would take it.  

I think it may be hard for the recipients of my secret love notes to accept them.  I think they get a little frightened when they see it, just like I feel placing it.  Frightened because we are not used to such kindness.  Frightened because we were taught not to accept things from strangers.  Frightened because they don't believe the world can be this kind.  

But what we really need to do is learn how to put our guard downs.  We need to be open to the possibility that love, tenderness, caring, and kindness does surround us and is constantly swirling around.  We just need to open our eyes up to it.  

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

It has been a little while since I last wrote.  I have been holding my fears, thoughts, and dreams inside.  However, I can no longer do this alone.  I need you to hold on to some of my fears and dreams for me.  I need you to hold them so that I am free to "be."  I want to be present in the moment, I want to show up, I want to feel what is going on around me, and I want to be able to appreciate it.  With all of these thoughts swirly through my head I am never sure what to listen to and I always feel like I cannot stop and be right where I am.  

So today I am handing them over to you.  Of course they come with an enormous THANK YOU!!! For being there, guiding me, and accepting me just the way I am.  I appreciate all that you have done for me and I really appreciate you taking these worries out of my hands.  

Thank you!

With Love,

Monday, February 25, 2008

My Own Room

Growing up I shared a bedroom with my brother Bobby.  We had fun.  When we were very small we had a trundle bed, then as we got older we had bunk beds.  Bunk beds were fun because we could jump off of the top.  It always made my mother mad when she heard us thunk onto the floor.  

As we grew older Brian moved to the basement, Timmy moved in with Bobby, and being the only girl I got my own room.  Oh it was wonderful to have my own room.  My favorite thing about having my own space was that I had the freedom to paint it whatever color I wanted.  My mom was super nice about this and let me be creative and gave me some good ideas along the way.  We got these super sized sponges and three different pastel colors and had a blast on the walls.  It was really nice to do this with my mom.  

Another thing I loved about having my own room was being able to move the furniture around.  I could put things wherever I wanted and I could do it whenever I wanted.  And believe me, I did.  I was always moving my furniture around.  It always threw my mom off when she came into my room.  

Having your own room is freedom.  A place to go, close the door, and no one bothers you.  I spent a lot of time in my room when I was growing up.  Listening to music, drawing, painting, enjoying time with my imaginary friends.  I was free to do whatever I wanted.  I never had a TV in my room.  Although my mom would bring one in when I was sick so that I could watch movies.  What a sweet mom I have.  

My favorite piece of furniture in my room was my desk.  I loved sitting at my desk, cleaning my desk out, and making sure that it was neat and organized.  I still need for my desk to be organized today.  

It is a lot different now, living in a studio apartment with Christian and sharing all of this space.  I don't have my own room, although I do love the room we have.  My favorite thing now about my space is the photographs I have on my walls and the enormous stack of books I have next to my bed.  It is so nice to curl into bed, page through one of those books, and gaze around and be proud of all I have accomplished.  

My dream is:  To have my own studio space when I own my own house.  I want a space to create, dream, explore, and simply be.  A space all for me.  

Friday, February 22, 2008

Snow Day!!

Luck is on my side,
Someone is watching over me....
I am not sure how, not sure what, but things seem to be coming together.
A new job, a new opportunity, a new chance to show who I am.
A snow day, a day to rest, a day to enjoy.  

The sun is shining in my soul
HOPE has surfaced again.
I feel good, I am happy, I am filled with hope.  

Things have turned around, and something special has come my way
And something else very special that I wanted for a really long time is coming soon.  
Thank you Christian!!!

What great things have happened to you lately?  I would love to hear about them.  As small as having the day off of work to as big as your dreams coming true...I want to hear it all.  

A new beginning

Looking around, nothing is familiar,
A face, a feeling...
All brand new.
It's lonely, scary, and sometimes sad.
Quietness surrounds me
You can hear people coming and going
Footsteps, the sound of footsteps
every now and again.
No one to joke with
No one to laugh with
No one who knows you
A foreign language being spoken all around you
Endcaps, sidecaps, and other things you can't even
begin to remember.
But all of this is good
It is very good
Gaining experience
Meeting new people
Learning new things
Everything is new
A new chance
A fresh start
And who knows what the future will hold, but
for now it is in my favor
New adventures
New chances
A new beginning.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


Hope Revolution has officially begun. I first heard of love notes to a city from Jen Lemen. However the originator is the wonderful Krystyn.

Spreading hope in unexpected places is simply a wonderful idea. I hope you are inspired to join the revolution.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Love Notes to Kelly

Love Notes II, originally uploaded by Jennifer Belthoff.

I  made these little love notes to leave  around my town. I carry them with me, and hope that where I place them they will inspire someone or make someone's day.

I left my first note last night. I placed it on the windshield of my friends car. I think I was more nervous about leaving it with someone I know then just leaving it in a random place. "what if she found it creepy? what if it freaked her out?" Those and many other questions were zooming through my head. But none the less I left it there. I hope it made her smile.

Friday, February 15, 2008

The Warming is real...

Green trees, beautiful oceans, falling snow, penguins, polar bears, plant life.  Everything in this world is connected by our amazing ecosystem. Working side by side, working together, working to keep this planet functioning in an amazing way. Yet here we are working against this system, making it work harder, and destroying it. We need to change. We need to realize the truth of what is happening, and we need to take the steps to stop going against but working with.

It is really scary to look at the facts and to see what could potentially happen. But we must face this truth. We must stop destroying our beautiful planet. A planet that has offered us so much. We must respect it, work with it, and correct our wrongs.

Today I was at the grocery store trying to decide which laundry detergent to buy. One brand was on sale **buy one get one free** Trying to save money I picked it up and was about to buy it when out of the corner of my eye I spotted this
Seventh Generation detergent. On the back of the bottle is says "In our ever deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations." And even though it was more expensive I put down my money saver detergent and decided to buy the planet saver. I think saving the planet is a lot more important than a few bucks I would waste somewhere else.

So today I am taking the pledge to continue to make a difference.
I am going to continue to:
**turn off my lights
reusablegrocery bags
** not take a bag when I don't need it
**buy products that are good for the environment
**keep appliances unplugged unless I am using them
**walk instead of drive and carpool when I can
**and try to keep others informed.

Are you willing to take the pledge? What other things can we continue to do to save something that is so precious to all of us?

Happy Valentines Day!

I have never been one to celebrate Valentines Day, to me it is a "Hallmark" holiday. And although I do love cards, I feel they are more special when they come as a surprise and not when one feel's like they must give one. Surprises are a lot more fun! (Although people rarely try to surprise me.)

Today I thought about all the people who I love and who love me. I thought about the amazing connections I have made over the years and how certain situations have brought these people too me. I thought about how sad my life would be if I never met these people, and how simply amazing it is that I did. Life is funny like that... connecting you to people.

The one person I am so glad I connected with is Christian......

Happy Valentines Day mi vida. May we smile forever like we are smiling today!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

What we are here for

Diets. There are a bunch of them out there. They make many claims. Saying you will have a better life if you are thinner. Making you feel uncomfortable with the way you look now, and question what you should look like. Why are we so consumed with dieting, and forcing our bodies to compete with unrealistic images that we see on television or in advertising?

The one thing I love most about this wonderful that we are not competing with those unrealistic expectations of body image. Instead we dig deep into our hearts to uncover what is truly there. Creating, writing, photographing...all of these things are building our spiritual center and healing our hearts.

No one here is concerned with how much you weigh, what you look like, if you have the latest fashion trends or hot new car. Rather, we are concerned with what your heart is saying. We are concerned with connecting with other people whose hearts are singing the same tune and being understanding, listening, and supporting those who are struggling with a matter of the heart. We are not here to judge. We are here for support. we are here to help one another, guide one another, and make each other not feel so alone in a world that is so large and intimidating at times.

This is a sacred community of the heart.

Ted Alexandro: on diets

If you are looking for a little laughter today check out this video and you can find more of Ted here.

I love stand up comedians, so if you know of any good ones please let me know.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Love Thursdays: Mi Vida

Christian and I have been together for a little over three years, or so we think. Neither of us really know for sure. However one thing we know for sure is that we both love each other dearly. Come on how could you not love someone who goes on adventures with you and has such wonderful eyes and beautiful face.

Te amo. Deseo pasar mi vida contigo.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Just what I needed...

Winter days were bringing me down and dragging me through the mud. Depression was setting in, tears were flowing, and my body simply ached.

However a simple two hour car ride changed all of that for me.It brought me a little warmth, some time swimming and splashing in the pool, and reconnecting with "mi vida." It was just what I needed to cure the winter blues.

Christian and I took an overnight trip to Philadelphia. We went to the Car Show, swam in what ended up being our own private pool, and enjoyed our wonderful view of the river from our enormous windows. We also went to Adventure Aquarium which was beautiful.

This simple overnight tripped made me fall more in love with Christian and learn more about him in my little made up questions game. It was really a wonderful experience. I feel so relaxed, happy, and peaceful.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Free Lunch

I always wanted to buy a stranger lunch. Yet I never really knew how to go about doing it. Today I was standing on line to get my lunch at the mall after a search for a black polo shirt for work, which I was unsuccesful in finding. A young gentleman, about 17 was standing there waiting for awhile because he was paying with his credit card, but the line was down. So instead of having him wait any longer I paid for his lunch.

So simple, I know. But it felt so good to let him know that there is still kindness in the world. Hopefully that small act of kindness flows over.