Sunday, August 29, 2010

Darkness

Self portrait session to let the light in

I have been quiet here for awhile
Hiding deeply within myself
Not coming out much to play

Darkness was swirling inside me
My inner demons were fighting
I was struggling to float to the top

I am still swimming my way up
Reaching for the clouds
Pointing my head towards the sun

But I am now wearing a smile
Replacing those tears that were falling
With the sound of my own laughter

This dark place is not an easy one to be in
Especially when you are not sure why you are there
Or how you even got there

It is a battle between yourself
And most of the time the darkness is winning
Fighting strongly against the light

I must continue to remind myself
This to will pass
And I will come out on top

I can fight this
I can win
I will feel whole again

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Flight


Why is it so hard sometimes
To spread your wings and fly
Even when we know that is the only thing that will save us

Why do we struggle?
Why do we fight it?
Why do we shy away from it?

The wonderful thing about flying
Is that your friends are always right there beside you
They help you along
And lift you up, right when you need it most

But when we are in the dark
Frightened
We forget this
Why?

Take flight
Spread your wings
Feel the air beneath you
And soar!

Friday, August 20, 2010

In this moment


To be honest with ourselves is hard work and it requires us to be brave. We will not always like what we see. But we cannot accept it, let it go, and move on unless we recognize what it is. To recognize something may be easy. The hard part comes when we must forgive ourselves, let go, and move on.

Today I must forgive myself for the way I acted. Because of my lack of belief in myself I said things that I did not mean and acted in a way that was not true to my souls genuine way of being. I must begin to believe in myself. Understand and grasp my self worth. I must realize that what did unfold was a great blessing to me because it is an incredible learning experience.

I became rattled and shaken up. Things were stirred up that I did not realize were there. And that is good to see, to recognize, learn from, let go of, and move on. Stronger, braver, wiser.

The universe knows that I am in a stage of vulnerability. It has been pushing people towards me that I need right now. People that know me, see me, and are pushing me to see myself. What a gift that is. I am so extremely lucky in this life.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Shook Up


I have been carefully examining each item on the shelf
Dusting it off, deciding if I really need it
Tossing it if I do not
And placing it delicately if I do
I thought I had everything in order
Arranged so beautifully
But something came along and shook it all up
Things fell to the floor
Shattered into a million pieces
And I am not sure how to clean it up

Sunday, August 15, 2010

if you let me


If you let me
I would hold your hand
Listen to your thoughts, fears, and dreams
Cheer you on
Nudge you forward
Be there when you need a shoulder to lean on

If you let me
I would circle you with love
Open up your eyes to reveal to you
The person that I see
Who is strong, tender, brave
Enjoying each moment of this life

If you let me
I would stand besides you
During your darkest hours
And your greatest triumphs
Feeling so proud to know you
And honored that you let me in


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thank You


"Not every conversation will change you. But any conversation can"

I sat across from you
And you saw the inner demons I was fighting
You listened to my struggles, worries, and fears
Never once judging me for the decisions I have made

You spoke honestly with me
As you have always done before
Opening my eyes to the person I have been unable to see
That person is me

You took your time
Making sure that I was listening
Not letting me dispute what you were saying
Allowing me to soak everything in

You knew I was in a tender place
Wrestling with uncertainty
And you lifted me up
Teaching me that I need to believe

Due to the respect I have for you
Your words left a mark on my soul
Carrying me to more solid ground
Where I am able to stand on my own

I struggle to find the words to express
The gratitude I feel
For you being you
And opening my eyes up to me

Thank you does not showcase
How life changing that conversation was for me
But it is all I have
So, thank you, thank you, thank you

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

changed

LBI, Barnegat Lighthouse

It was a brief moment in time
Not lasting more than a couple of hours
But during that time something in me shifted
I did not realize it was happening
So natural, so easy, so radiant

A new light was shed inside me
Thoughts, ideas, and feelings blossomed

I see things differently now
Viewing myself in a whole new perspective
Feeling the motion of the world more peacefully

Looking back I can see
That it was in those moments that I was truly myself
Breathing in the adventure of life
Standing deeply rooted in who I am

Beauty surrounded me
As I simply existed
Just as I was meant to do

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Light


Let the light shine on you
Feel it's warmth
Soak it in
Stand up tall
Listen to what it is whispering to you

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Spinning


Spinning around and around
Unsure of landing my feet on the ground
I thought I was brave, ready to take the leap
But here I spin

Am I afraid to stand
Feet firmly planted on the ground
Soaking in my hearts desires?

Am I afraid to speak
Using my voice, my words
Saying out loud what I truly long for?

I thought I was fearless
Flying through the air
Facing all that came my way

But have I been avoiding the truth
Have I been hiding behind my shadow
Only showing an illusion of myself?

Feeling lost and confused
Trying to steady myself on the ground
Looking to see deep inside of me

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Tender Place


I am feeling very tender today
In a place rooted in deep reflection
Trying to answer the hard questions
The ones that tug at your heart
And make you look at yourself
With your eyes truly open

Family


Filling up with family love this summer
Nothing is sweeter than that
Laughter
Sunshine
Singing
Dancing
And a whole lot of fun
I am so lucky for the family I am apart of

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Piece of summer

LBI, Barnegat Light House


Soaking in all the beauty that summer has to offer