Sunday, May 28, 2006

Sunny days bring smiles!

The rain has finally stopped and with that I feel like the rain inside my heart has also calmed down a bit. Sunnier days have brought about more smiles, and have filled me with so much more happiness Oh how I love the warm weather and the bright sun.

Christian and I purchased bicycles and I felt like a kid again riding them around when we got home. It was a lot of fun. I cannot wait to take more adventures on them.

It feels so nice to have a break from school. I have had time to relax, time to enjoy, and time to just veg out being me. The summer is going to be FABULOUS I can feel it in my bones. :)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Dance

Dancing always makes me feel better. No matter how bad of a mood I am sometimes a certain song like "Staying Alive" will shake me out of that mood and shake me into dancing. Try it some time. In front of the mirror is best.

Relationships...well we never know how they are going to end up. So today these lyrics are ringing true inside of my heart.

Garth Brooks: The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

It is better not to know the ending and just to enjoy the time we have. You never know what tomorrow will bring so you better enjoy today!!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Here we are

Here we are sitting together
feeling worlds apart.

You are involved with your game
I sit here looking at this screen

In the past things were filled with so much joy
here were are now, like strangers

I look at you and feel so much
you look at me as if you feel nothing

I want back our passion
I want back our closeness
I want back you

Here we are
Close together
Far apart

Friday, May 05, 2006


Negative thoughts run through our heads on a daily basis. They play over and over like a broken record. Never stopping. Never ceasing. Always reminding us how we are not good enough.

Rarely do the positive words play over and over in our head. For some reason we tend to forget them.

*You are a liar
*You are a bitch
*I do not want to talk to you for a long time
*You are a slut
*You are stupid
*I do not love you
*I hate you
*You are a player of the heart
*You are my problem

Today these thoughts are running through my head. Along with the noise from outside which I have been hearing since seven this morning. I want to scream. I want to cry. I feel like I cannot achieve peace inside my head. Like someone left the television on static and I cannot shut it off. How badly I want to shut it off but the volume just keeps getting louder. How badly I want to feel calm, centered, and loved.

I need to be able to listen to the sound of my own voice. To trust it. Embrace it. Love it.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have that life that is waiting for us."
*Joseph Campbell

So many times in my life I try to plan everything out. I think if I plan it out things will go just as I planned. Yet, each time without fail the plan does not go through as I had thought it would. Something changes last minute, something unexpected occurs, or I just do not want to do what I planned. People feel they always have to stick to their plans or things are not going to be right. However usually when I just roll with the punches and plan nothing, that is when I have the best time.

Life is here for us to enjoy. Planning everything leaves no room for random chance experiences...and usually those are our best days.

I also stumbled upon another quote which I feel is absolutely fabulous:

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are"
*Joseph Campbell


Today I played the Magpies game thanks to Andrea. This is a game where you meditate for a few minutes on a question then look into the dictionary for the answer, turning to a random page and random word.

What a fun and interesting game. I encourage you to try it.

Thanks Andrea!!