Thursday, December 22, 2005

Finally time...

The semester has finally come to a close. I either did well or poorly, only time will really let me know. I cannot change my grades. I can only enjoy the time I wait before I get them.

I feel like I have not been on here in so long. In between moving, school, work, christmas shopping, and studying I have only had time to squish all of those things together.

However I am back. I feel so relaxed now that I have a break from school. My creative wheels are turning and their is so much I want to do. I feel the need to catch up on all I missed out on. Next semester I really need to budget my time better so that I can still enjoy living creativly.

I want to color, paint, play games, create something wonderful, learn to cook, put colors on the walls of my blank canvas of an apartment. I want to do it all. Of course their is little time before Spring Semester, so I better get a jump on it. :)

I started it off right! I went snowboarding with my family and my wonderful boyfriend. It was the first time for both of us. Therefore it was filled with lots of laughter and lots of falling. It was a blast to spend time with my family and to have Christian their with me.

I know their is more to come. Stay tuned I will be around! :)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Rain Rain Go Away...

IMG_0171, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

The darkness and dreariness is consuming my whole body.
The weight of the clouds filled with raindrops is on my shoulders.
I am tired.
Rainfall is pouring from eyes.
A puddle of my own despair has formed beneath my feet
I am drained.
The gray sky has infused a haziness on my brain.
What once was filled with creativity now only has splashed of black and gray.
I am weary.
My aching body longs for the sun to come along and lift this dreadful monster.
My nose is longing to be permeated with the aroma of a crisp fall day
I am exhausted
As I stand deep inside this disorder I am struggling for strength
Power to wash away these dark clouds myself
I yearn to be spilling over with life again

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The end and the begining!

Sky, Aunt Pattys, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

This marks the end
This marks the begining

The end and the begining rolled into one

A tear falls for the end,
the sadness of something leaving that was
so beatiful,
so warm,
so full of life

A smile forms form the begining,
the anticipation of whats to come
so filled with hope
so filled with opportunity
so filled with new endings

Facing the sadness and the happiness together
Exploring the richness of the end and enjoying the nerves that come with the begining

I smile for both you end and begining and hope that together we come through, till the end where a new begining takes place

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I am who I am

Sky_0406, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

someone asked me what i thought my idiosyncrasies were. I thought aobut it for a while, wondering what mine could possibly be. Wondering really what idiosyncrasies were. So I came up with these.

five idiosyncrasies about myself...

1. I am a neat freak. Everything has to be clean and organized and in it's proper place. If it is not I will not be able to concentrate until it is. However if I am busy and decide to spend a few more minutes in bed cuddling, or an hour outside going for a walk, or even just some time talking with a friend the mess can build up. And build up it does at times. But the day will come when I will take hours to straighten everything back up again. Kinda like my life. Sometimes it gets a little hairy, but the day comes when I straigten it back up.

2. I buy calanders and planners with every intention of getting all my plans organized. I start to fill them out then never remember to open them. Although recently I have been getting better with using it, only because I cannot remember a thing.

3. I could eat cereal for any meal of the day and be completly satisfied. Do not forget a chocolate bar for dessert.

4. I crack up over the corniest jokes or silly thoughts I think in my head. Laughter really keeps me going.

5. Usually when people ask me what I am thinking I make something up. Only because usually I am just singing a song in my head and how do you explain that to someone?

What are your idiosyncrasies?

Thursday, July 28, 2005


Flag, lights, agua, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

I feel a little bit lost.
Like I am stuck in this in between,
Not sure which way to go.
Yet a whirlwind of things keeps coming my way.
I am waiting for the storm to break.
For the clouds to clear, and the sun to shine.
I wonder what will be standing underneath the rainbow when my tired body wakes up from all of this.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


Red sky, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

If in your head you say
"This will change everything"
Do not do it
Especially when the everything that will be changing
is not what you want changed.

"Oh look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone"

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Life as Baseball

Sky and Trees, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Sometimes we come up with these grand plans and schemes for life. We are determined to accomplish them and have things end a certain way. Then that curve ball gets thrown at you. You hit it, you just aren't sure where it lands. So you pick up your feet and start running. The crazy part is no matter how long it takes you to get there, you always end up back at home plate!

In life we are up at bat many times and thrown many curve balls. The object of the game is to keep picking up your feet and keep running those bases.

Here I am now. Running the bases, not really sure when I will make it home. I am in it for the whole game, ready to play it out as long as it takes. And although right now I cannot really feel inside what it will feel like when my foot lands on homeplate in the back of my mind I know it will eventually happen. So I am keeping my eye on the ball and my head in the game. Experiencing the game as it comes.

"You may not end up where you thought you were going, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be."

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Timmy, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Nothing has lifted my spirits more than spending the day with my family. Talking, laughing, playing games. It grounded me back to what is really imprtant in life. I get sucked into the every day drama of work that sometimes I tend to forget that there is a whole other world out there. A world filled with amazing people. I am extremly lucky for I was blessed with such an amazing family.

Everything may turn into a contest, and sometimes you just have to dollar up, but what, you don't like golf bags?

I am glad I got grounded, even if it was for just a day!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Thank you!

Small Bridge, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Sometimes life brings you down
You feel like you cannot be picked up
All hope is lost
All happiness seems sucked from your body
A smile is non existent,
Tears flow from your eyes

Then you turn around and someone is standing there
A friend with time to give you
A friend who sits and listens
A friend who makes you laugh,
And breaths happiness back into you.

What a great feeling to know you have someone there to turn to
Someone who understands
Who does not judge you or make you feel bad
Rather he makes you laugh, smile, and enjoy life again.

Thanks for being that kind of friend.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Summer Adventures

Aruba Beach, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

The sun is shining
the warm weather is here
The stars are out
and the moon is bright

Soak up the sun
Enjoy the night air

For a little while the heat is here
let your skin soak it up

Enjoy conversations with the night sky
there is so much it has to say

Let the sun guide you
and let the moon be your dreams

Explore the outdoors
embrace the comfort of nature

For the short time summer is here
let your heart go
and enjoy the places it takes you!

I am sure you will enjoy many new adventures
Along your path smile with whats to come!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Same Sky

Palm Tree Moon, Aruba, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Nothing amazes me more then the night sky. I constanly find myself tripping over something, or walking into something because I am looking up.

It is so fascinating that I can look up into the sky and see the same thing that someone millions of miles, or even a block away can see.

We tend to think at times that we are so different from everyone else, and that no one understands us. Yet we are all pretty much the same. Most of us have the same fears and worries. We all think we are not good enough, do not do enough, or just aren't enough. The fact remains though that we are enough, we have enough, and everything will be ok.

Just look up into the night sky and realize that somewhere someone is feeling just like you are. We all live under the same sky. And we all sing with the same voice. :)

Monday, June 13, 2005


IMG_0351, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Have you ever had so much you wanted to say to a person, but never had the opportunity to say it? You wonder "if only I had said this I would feel so much better." But will we really feel better? Will anything ever really change?

We think our words may change how somone feels or thinks. Yet our words are our own thoughts, ideas, and feelings. They are not anybody else's. Saying how you feel to someone else does not make them immediatly adapt the same feelings. I doubt it even changes how they think at all.

Yet here I am, wishing I had said what I wanted to say. Wishing the chance was there. Would it really have made a difference?

Are words really that powerful?

Friday, June 10, 2005

Aruba Sunset

Having what we need, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Sometimes life can be so crazy. We think we have it all figured out, but really we do not.

And then we think back to the past and we wonder if what we did was really right. Are we missing anything that should still be with us?

We also look to the future and wonder what lies ahead of us. Are we passing up any opportunities that may be marvelous?

Life can be so chaotic, but along the way I think we encounter who we should, and experience what we should. However sometimes the hardest part is saying goodbye, and sometimes we just have to say goodbye. The new and wonderful can not come in if the old is still standing in the doorway!

Saturday, May 28, 2005


Florida 044, originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

Remember the days when you were a kid? Life was so simple. You would jump onto your bicycle and feel free. You could go where ever you wanted on that bicycle. What an amazing sense of freedom. And now here I am. I have my car that can take me anywhere. Anywhere I want to go. Yet I do not feel like I have my freedom. I feel so tied down. I need to let go, jump on my bicycle, feel the wind in my hair, and enjoy the amazing sense of freedom.


Originally uploaded by sunflowers131.

I have been inspired for so long by others words on the internet. I thought maybe it was time to share the world with others through my eyes. So here it is: yours for the taking. Life through my eyes.