I find it a bit frightening to leave love notes around. What if people find them and then find me, and then confront me about it. What would they say? What would I say? Would they mock me, think I was silly, think I was stupid? Would they put me down and make me feel bad? Every time I leave a note a small sense of fright washes over me.
I left one the other day on the first floor of my new office building. I am still to chicken to leave one on my own floor. Before leaving for the day I had to use the bathroom, and so I stopped on the first floor and entered the bathroom where I had left my love note earlier in the day.
When I left the note I hung it neatly on the back of one of the bathroom with stalls. A little surprised to be discovered by some un-expecting stranger. I hung it with pride, fright, and a little sense of freedom. When I walked into the bathroom their it was, on the floor. Devastation flooded my body going directly to my heart. Saddness for my heart felt love note which read:
"Cheers-
To a new day and another chance to get it right."
I choose this one carefully for the office, hoping that it would make someone smile or brighten their stressful day. And their it was---on the floor. With tender loving hands I scooped up my note and placed it safely into my bag. My heart was sad.
Seeing the love note on the floor got the wheels in my head turning. I thought about how difficult it is for some people to receive gifts. They could be right their for the taking and yet we drop them instead of carrying them along with us. Sometimes we even look right past the gifts being offered to us and we don't accept them.
If I saw this note hanging on the back of the bathroom door I am not so sure I would have picked it up myself. It surely would have made my day, made me think happy thoughts, and made me smile...but I don't think I would take it.
I think it may be hard for the recipients of my secret love notes to accept them. I think they get a little frightened when they see it, just like I feel placing it. Frightened because we are not used to such kindness. Frightened because we were taught not to accept things from strangers. Frightened because they don't believe the world can be this kind.
But what we really need to do is learn how to put our guard downs. We need to be open to the possibility that love, tenderness, caring, and kindness does surround us and is constantly swirling around. We just need to open our eyes up to it.
3 comments:
You are so right and your feeling echos mine about starting to leave my notes. I have to admit I am afraid and a little ashamed to leave them but you're right people are afraid to accept kindness. I have in the past found a handwritten note in a bathroom stall and I slipped it into my bag because it said "today have a great day"...I smiled because I needed it. Trust me you're not alone but it will take women like us up to the challenge to make a change in this REVOlution =)
In all the years I've been on this earth, I've never found a note like this. But hope I do. Planning to plant my own seeds of hope for others too. Please keep doing it.
Oh, sweetie, I really, really understood this post. I've tried to share many (what I thought were loving and wonderful) things with some of my coworkers the past few years (several of whom consider themselves 'aware and enlightened.') And they were received not much more graciously than your gift was. So I learned that that's not a safe place for me to share those things. One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is that not all people or places are safe for me. I used to think that my lesson was to go through life open-hearted and that I 'had' to do that no matter how I was received. But I don't believe that anymore. I believe my lesson is to be open-hearted and that if I'm/it's not received well, to move on to a safer place. I have no doubt that if you keep leaving your notes in different places, you're going to find someone, somewhere who is OPEN to receiving them. When you described scooping up your note off the floor and how sad you felt...I've been there. Big hugs.
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