Monday, July 22, 2013

washing over me

I was sinking into the unknown
Losing my way
Falling off course
Standing in the middle of despair, fear, and uncontrollable feelings
Trying to make sense of it all

I had no idea which way to turn
Was there a right course of action
Was one micro movement going to shift everything
Time spinning quickly
Getting thrown back into a past life

Where was I headed
What choice was I to make
Did I have any control over this
How would I ever know if I made the right one
Lost, lost, so very lost

I took to the streets
Long walks
Staring up at the stars
Allowing my inner light to guide me home
Finding my way back to center

And now I stand here
Neither moving forwards or backwards
Just still
In the moment
Letting it all wash over me


Roban said...

This is lovely, Jennifer. I have felt that way many times, often too afraid to make a decision because of what 'might' happen. I call it 'being on the hamster wheel' because I think and think and think but don't get anywhere.

Sometimes standing still isn't a bad thing unless it keeps one from moving on. Sometimes you just have to jump in.

Kathryn said...

We all need those moments of stillness before we're able to move forward. Beautiful words and image.

Elizabeth Halt said...

I love stillness now. Whenever I feel frenetic inside (or outside, which usually reflects my inside), I sit. After three years of practice, it is easier to remember that there is always more time than I think - even when my fear & doubt tell me otherwise.

Wishing you the sweetness of presence - and all the clarity you desire. xo