Friday, July 12, 2013

fear of success


I sit here.  Ideas swirling one right after the other.  A mental task list quickly filling the notebook in my mind.  So easily the ideas come, and they are good.  I can feel it in my heart and soul.  Yet it is with much hesitation that I breathe life into them.

I am afraid of succeeding.
Terrified of actually making it happen.
Doubting myself.
Playing that evil comparison game.

I want to begin.  But instead I cook up another idea.  Add some more lines to my task list and head out for a run.

I am lacking the confidence in myself  to take the leap.  I am doubting that people will be interested in the passions that are in tucked into my heart.  I forget that I will attract those that do understand and speak the same language as me.

I am unsure how to find my way out of this hole I am digging myself into.  So I am doing what I know how to do; show up here and write about it.  It feels freeing to state my fear.  To have it down on paper to examine and dig deeper into.

The journey to getting through this begins with these words.


3 comments:

beth said...

i'll be there to watch where you go....cheering you on :)

Mindy Lacefield said...

you got this!! i so believe in you with every ounce of my being. I love you dear friend.

mindy said...

you've got so much goodness in that beautiful heart of yours... trust what it knows, and keep on going! xo