"trues"

An inner dialogue is always running through my head
At times the words spoken are not kind
Carrying daggers
They stab me in the heart
Making me feel like I am not good enough
It is my own voice that is speaking
Why is it so hard on me?

Words flow from my heart for others
Lifting them up
Holding them gently
Carrying them through the storm
But when I look in the mirror
And speak to myself
The words are not kind at all

It is in these moments
That I am so grateful for my "trues"
The individuals in my life who see me for exactly who I am
And reflect it back to me when those dark voices start to speak
They usher in
And fight off my inner daemons
I do not even have to ask for there help
They just know
And like angels they appear

I am so incredibly blessed
To have these beautiful souls in my life
Holding up a mirror to me
And gently opening up my eyes
When I am unable to see

living through the feelings

Since returning
The connection between my mind and my pen has been a struggle
I have tried lining words up to form a sentence
Express my feelings
Release what is swirling around inside of me
But nothing is coming out

I am in a period of transition
Of letting go
and opening myself up to the world around me
Not holding anything to tightly
But allowing things to come in and go out

It is not an easy path to travel down
Being such a deep feeler
It can be difficult to give freedom to all of these emotions
Allowing them to just be what they are
Without holding on

I am bravely stepping forward
Through the darkness
And the questions
Digging deeper into the strength that is within me
Revealing pieces of my heart with each step

I know I must live boldly
Without fear
Planning my next adventure
And standing tall in the uncomfortableness of life
Reaching, stretching, growing

L.O.V.E

Can you feel it swirling around
It is deep within you
Flowing out of you
Hugging you gently
And bringing a smile to your face

Love

It is every where
In the friendly hello from lady who works at the library
The kind smile from the gentleman filling up your gas tank
The conversation between you and your customers at work

Love

Wrapping its arms around you
Lifting you up so you feel like you are soaring
Making you laugh
And opening you up to fully appreciating life

Love

You can see it in everything
Feel it in each encounter you have
Leaving a mark on your heart
As you venture through each day

Love

Arriving in the palm of your hand
Felt through friendships where you are deeply seen
Memories being created with family
Helping you to keep moving forward

Love

A feeling so deep
Bringing so much joy
Support and strength
Always circling around you

Love, do you feel it?

brought back home

It is a place I love going to
Spending hours upon hours
Writing, reading, soaking in the goodness of just being there
But now every time I walk through the doors
The feeling is not the same
Sadness fills me up inside
As I feel your presence within these walls
I know you are not there
But still I feel you, so strongly

Today when I went inside
I had to leave quickly
The feeling of you being there was so powerful
It is a funny thing that can happen with a place
Holding onto your hopes
When you are trying to let them go
Exposing feelings
That you are trying to forget
And resurfacing memories
That you are trying to leave behind

Today I as flooded with those thoughts
Brought back to your smile
The day we met
The words you said
The moments we shared together
It made my heart sad
To look back
And feel it all again

I am blessed

Sometimes there are no words that can describe a feeling

No string of letters that can explain the love that is in my heart

I am feeling so very blessed for...

... creating something magical with two stunning souls

... time spent in the sunshine

... walking along a path, and finding interesting things along the way

... dreams coming true ~ one right after the other

... beautifully honest conversation

... inspiring women who encircle me with love

... good friends who take me to the airport and pick me up

... delicious food

... dinner time around the table

... candlelight

... space

... love

... learning new things

... seeing friends again 

... flying through the sky to arrive, just as I am

... looking deep inside myself

... dreaming up new ideas

... connecting with others

... supporting and encouraging one another

... tear falling belly hurting type of laughter

... little messages arriving in the palm of my hand

... knowing that I was missed while I was away

... sharing my stories when I returned home

... getting teased

... soaking in the beauty of life

This list could go on and on ... what a great thing.  

What are you feeling blessed for today?

to be true

There are many uncertainties in this world

But there are also some things that I know to be true

Like....

*  Good friends can lift you out of the rubble, carry you to safety, and remind you that everything will be ok

*  Family is a vital part of living

*  Sunshine breathes new life into the darkest moments

*  Laughter heals the soul

*  Connections between individuals is what keeps people moving forward

*  We must always move forward

*  Anything is possible if you are willing to put in the hard work it takes to achieve it

*  One of the bravest thing you can do is love someone with your whole heart

*  Sometimes risks are worth taking

*  Nothing in this world will last forever, but while they are happening they can be life altering

moving forward

I stand here
Observing the world
And the beauty around me
Unsure of which way to step next
But knowing in my heart I must continue on
The path is long
Filled with many unexpected turns
With each new direction
I gain something I did not even realize I was missing
I cannot stand in one place for to long
I must move forward
Stepping into the unknown
Bravely putting myself out there

open

Exploring life brings a smile to my face

New adventures around every corner

Stories unfolding

Life taking place

How lucky I am 

To be here

Experiencing it all

Open to possibility

nothing stays the same

Everything in this world changes
What was important to me a couple of months ago
Has since shifted
Moments have passed
People have come, and gone
Different circumstances surround me
Different conversations take place
Each day is something new
I am usually good with embracing change
Moving forward
Stepping into the world with excitement for what is to come
But lately I have been unsure of my footing
Questioning all of the transformation that occurs
Thinking about how fleeting things can be
What was once new and shiny ultimately loses its luster and begins to rust
How do we know what to believe in when the world is constantly changing?
What can we trust?
Is there anything we know for sure?
How can we know where to step next when tomorrow it could all be gone?
Some questions, unfortunately
Do not have any answers
Still my mind races
Trying to figure if there is anything I can believe in

following me around

"somewhere only we know"  ~ Keane

Sometimes after not hearing a song for a long time
It shows up
And follows you around
Showing up in unexpected places
And you can't help but stop and listen to it
Soaking in the lyrics

This song keeps doing that to me

spilling it out

If you asked her to speak
Her words would become jumbled
She would feel tongue tied
But if you gave her a pen
And a piece of paper
The words flowed
Directly from her heart
Onto the page
There was no filter
No holding back
Just raw honesty
Laid out before her
She showed the world her heart
Put it all out there
For others to examine
It was healing for her to do so
And so she continues on
Pen in hand
Journal tucked away in her backpack
So whenever the moment arose
She could write
Spilling her heart out onto the page

. . .

Sometimes we try to play these tricks on ourselves
Even though we know the only person we are hurting is ourself
We make up reasons that do not exist
Weave little tales to ease our heart
Hide ourselves from what is really taking place
I think it is a matter of survival
Of protecting our heart
And gently easing into the reality that will cause that same heart pain
But this little game can only go on for so long
Eventually the curtain is pulled back
And there it is
In plain view
That which we did not want to admit we knew
The thing is, we knew it all along
And now we must face it
Confront the truth
Feel the pain we have been avoiding
It will pass, it always does
This day will be another 'remember when' moment stored inside your head
And life will continue on

Forgivness

What if you could forgive yourself
For all the past hurst that rolled around you
What if you could finally see
That some of those moments were not your fault
But you had to suffer through them
What if you could forgive yourself
For the mistakes you made
The bad choices you decided on
The moments you did not act with integrity
What if you could realize that you made mistakes
That we all make mistakes
But that those mistakes do not define who you are today
And they do not have to hold power to what the future holds
They were just moments in time
That have since passed
What if you were able to let go
Of everything holding you back
Past hurts
The fear of the unknown
Unresolved issues
What if you could free yourself of the chains of the past
Where would you go?
What road would you travel down?
What new adventure would you take?
The world needs to see your light shine
Do not be afraid of letting go of the past
Forgiving yourself
And stepping into the present
You are the artist of your life
What will you create today?