Healing

I am the one who is always doing something...
working,
playing,
going for a hike,
walking...
Rarely sitting still.

The past four days have definilty changed that!
All I have being doing is sitting and lying down.
It is strange what sickness does to you.

Of course I have had the urge to clean, and tidy up...
but I restrained.
Instead Christian moved the mattress into the living room,
And I fell deeply into the world of television,
something I rarely every do.

I rested, did an awful lot of resting.

Finally I am starting to feel better.
Not 100% yet, but that will be any day now.

Sometimes your body just needs a break.
I have not been to the doctor since 2005, so really I cannot complain
And two years of resting up and getting better must be taken seriously,
And so I did that.

Tomorrow I think I will take my needed rest out into the sunshine,
poolside, with my mom :)

Perfection

I used to write every single day. Putting my thoughts down onto paper, expressing my ideas, and simply just writing. However now a days I seem to be searching for the perfect words...the perfect thing to write about. Usually great things come to me at night, when I am lying in bed. However i never get up to write them down. I debate them over in my head and forget about them the next morning. Does that mean they were not important?

I need to learn to simply put the pen to the paper and let whatever comes out come out. It does not have to be perfect. It is not a graded paper like in College. It is my ideas, my expressions...whatever I say is ok.

Writing. I must continue to write.

100

This, my friends, is my 100th post!
I remember starting this blog,
and I was hesitant at first.

I am a very private person.
So putting my thoughts and feelings into words....
on the internet....for people to read.
Oh, how scary.

Yet, I jumped into this world of the unknown.
And I have been inspired my so many people.

This world of "blogging" has connected me.
It has got me in touch with me.
And it also has inspired me creativly.

It is so nice to see be able to connect with people,
even if you never meet them in person.

I guess that is part of being human,
searching for that connection, not feeling so alone.

There is this amazing web being weaved right here on the internet
Connecting people and inspiring people.
It is amazing what words can do.

So today is a little celebration for me.
A celebration of my creativity,
of my writing,
of my picture taking,
of my paiting.
Of all the things I enjoy doing...
and all the things I have been inspired to delve into more,
because of this amazing community right here.

Thank you for inspiring me...
and thank you to the only person who reads this....
it is nice to know that even though you are far away you still read what I write.

Happy 100th post to me!!

Love of a lifetime.

"When a trip goes right, things take on an inevitablilty, a momentum they never have in real life"

"With a place, as with a person, you sometimes find the one you have been looking for all your life and your surrendor is immediate, and you talk and talk all night, getting to know one another as if to pack several past lifetimes into a single evening."

"The space between is always the place of potential, of strange promise."

"The definition of love is that it defies all expectations."

"It was the times when nothing happened that convinced me that I had been changed for good; something had been placed in me - a thought, a dream, a question - that I would never manage to uproot."

"Nothing was happening, and I was happier than I'd been anywhere."

"There is only one time that you fall in love and feel, with trembling assurance, that your life is slipping away from you irreverisibly, and youa re delighted at the loss."

All of the above quotes are from an article in an old magazine I found which I saved for the beautiful photos inside. I never read the articles before, I had only looked at the fabulous photos. However the first quote in the article caught my eye, and it spoke volumes to me. The article is 'Cuba, arriving in a new life' by Pico Iyer and it was published in 2006 in 'Islands' Magazine. Oh Pico, your article was beautifully articulate. Everything he had said about Cuba I feel about Mexico.

Inside of me is this seed, this spark, that will not die. It is only looking and seeking to be nourished and filled with more. It will not go away. It will never go away. It is my destiny, it is me, it is everything I am.

I have traveled to many places before. I have enjoyed there company and there surroundings. I have even felt love for certain places. But nothing like I felt for Mexico. Nothing speaks to me more than Mexico does. I cannot even put into words the feelings that are going through my heart as I type this right now. But I can say that they feel amazing.

Hmmm

Tomorrow is the day
Cap and gown
Pompin circumstance
My name being called on the stage
A degree in my hand
Leaving Ramapo College for good this time

It is surreal to me
I am actually graduating from College....
It took long enough :)
But it is a huge accomplishment for me

It seems so strange to think that I am not going back to class
That the chapter of my book at Ramapo College is finally finished.
I never thought I would finish that chapter

I am excited and sad
My parents, bobby, erika, Aunt nancy, thomas, alex, and Christian
will all be there
It means so much to me that they will be there,
especially since I reallly don't even want to go


And know what else is great...
I was the only one in my photography class to get an "A". I don't mean to brag but I am so proud of this accomplishment. At first I just thought the professor was giving every one good grades because I was getting good grades on all my assignments. But it turns out he was not. He even told me that he does not normally give out "A's" but the work I was doing in the class really deserved an A. This makes me so happy, because this was not a class where you had to study and that is what got me the grade. I had to go out find things to take pictures of, be creative with what I was photographing, and use my camera correctly to photograph it. I love taking photos...I never really thought I was any good at it, but my professor really belives I have some type of talent. It is nice to know that someone out there belives you are talented. Someone you don't really even know. He believes I will accomplish great things in my life. Who doesn't love to hear that.

My very last semester at Ramapo College was fabulous....no finals....a trip to Mexico...and an amazing photography class. A girl could not ask for more.

Divine Inspiration!

Michelle has come up with a brilliant way of celebrating her birthday. (I apologize, but I need to figure out how to link again, once I do I will put up the link) She is going to do one thing each day in May to pamper her soul and feed her spirit. What an amazing way to celebrate her birthday. I think it is incredibly inspiring and I am going to try to do it as well. This is something I really need to think about though, and like she said...mark it on my calender.

Taking time to nourish my body, inspire my creative soul, and feed my inner spirit. Time for myself, to fully indulge and appreciate who I am. A time to celebrate me. I belive I will kick it off tomorrow with some dancing. What better way to begin than with Bob Sinclair's "Love Generation." Dancing is extremly healing, and really lifts up my spirits. I'll be honest, I really enjoy dancing in front of the mirror. :)

I think this month a bike ride is in order. As well as an early morning walk, taking beautiful photos of myself, singing along to my favorite songs, exploring the book store--which I have not done in so long, walking tall and being proud of who I am, cooking myself a nice meal and eating it by candle light, diving into a fabulous book that I want to read....hmm I wonder what else. I will definitly keep you posted as to what I indulge in during this month of me.

Coming to a close

My time at Ramapo College is quickly coming to a close. I cannot belive I am actually graduating. I have been in school for so long (I don't even want to tell you the exact number of years, it has been that long). It feels like forever. What am I going to do with myself now that I am no longer going to school? Wild!!! I know.

I know I must perfect my resume, apply to jobs, and apply to graduate school....yes more school, I know. But I must get my masters in Education so I can what I really want to do, teach! So school is not completly over for me, but in a large part it is. A bachelors degree does not mean much now a days, but at least I will have that. It is something, and something I am proud of. For me it is a huge accomplishment.

So on May 11, 2007 at 10 am, think of me. For I will then be a college graduate! Hooray!!

Theme Songs: Puebla Mexico

Theme songs are an important part of life for me because I absolutly adore music. I am constanlty huming a tune or singing a song in my head. If it ever looks like I am thinking deeply about something what I am probally doing is singing a song in my head. I have certain theme songs for certain times in my life, trips, or even certain days. For some reason Puebla has left me with a couple of theme songs.

Theme song numero uno:

"why most the children play in the street?
broken arms can fade the dreams
peace on earth to everyone that you meet
don't you worry? it could be so sweet
just after a rainbow you will see,
the summer shine till the eternity
I've got so much love in my heart
no one can tear the bond
be the love generation
be the love generation"

-Love Generation, Bob Sinclair


Theme song numero dos:

"Come up to meet you
tell you i'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
tell you I need you
tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
and nurse me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
.....
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart"

-The Scientist, Coldplay


Theme song numero tres:

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think
Sure, she's got everything
.....
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
.....
When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world"

-Part of your World, The Little Mermaid


Theme song numero cuatro:

"Well I think it's fine, building jumbo planes.
Or taking a ride on a cosmic train.
Switch on summer from a slot machine.
Get what you want to if you want, 'cause you can get anything.
I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?"

Where do the Children Play, sung by Jack Johnson but a Cat Stevens Original



So those are my four theme songs from Puebla. And all of them really touch my heart in such special ways.

Beauty

Look deep inside
Do you see what is there?
Do you see all that I see?

No need to be shy or ashamed
You are beautiful
Wonderful, amazing.

Your smile brightens the room
Your laugh is like music
Everything about you is beautiful

I wish you could see this
feel this, belive this,
I wish you knew this.

There is no reason to hide
No reason to feel ashamed

Everyone is excited to know you
They welcome you with open arms

Come out of your shell and embrace the beauty of life all around you
Embrace what is truly amazing, yourself!

Don't they see

You try to do something nice for someone,
yet they don't appreciate it.
You go far out of your way for them,
yet they don't appreciate it.

Why?
Why do they have to be so mean?
Why do they have to ruin what you worked so hard on?

Don't they see how much you truly care,
how hard you worked to get this accomplished?

Don't they see?
Don't they see?