Friday, October 29, 2010

estoy listo

beach writing, nags head NC

I walk in the door to my apartment
The quietness engulfs me
It reminds me that I am alone
This reminder of being alone
Is packed full with intense emotion

At times I embrace the silence
It allows me the opportunity to dig deep into my thoughts
Create beautiful things with my hands
And connect with myself

But there are moments when that stillness is deafening
Feelings of isolation surface
A longing for connection swirls inside me
And tears fill my eyes

A constant tug back and forth
Elation and heartache

I cherish the solitude
But souls simply grow better when they are together
Each one reflecting back the others brilliance
Balancing and nudging the other forward
Lifting them up and holding their hand

For awhile I was not ready to embrace love
I needed to venture down my own path
Even though I was unsure of what that was
I stumbled and I fell
But I learned how to pick myself back up

The lessons that came my way were not always easy
But they were powerful
And opened my eyes up to the beauty in telling the truth

I feel confident in myself
Sure of the steps I am taking
And I am ready to not only give love
But to receive it in return


***
"souls just grown better together" ~ paraphrased from Elizabeth




6 comments:

Sam said...

It's going to happen, Jennifer. I believe it. I know it hurts so much (I remember my heartbreaks like YESTERDAY) and you know how much your love manifesting page in your book made me cry. The pure emotion just hit me. I believe it FOR you and know that the right, extremely lucky and blessed man is out there for you. I really did love meeting you at Squam.

Karen D said...

Damn girl your words touch my heart .. I was just saying to Bella C. that we need to get Jersey girl art date going.. we are here for each other.
Big Hugs,
Karen D

Carrie said...

beautiful thoughts : )

<3 Carrie

curious girl (lisa) said...

such a beautifully worded lovesong to love for its manifestions of loving solitude and loving partnership.

Steph said...

This is beautiful Jennifer.

patty said...

First of all, I love all your new pics, especially your little toes in the sand while you are doing what you love best - writing!! And second, I adore what you have shared here. I struggle with this all the time - the perfect balance between solitude and community. We so need both, don't we? And it's so easy for the balance to get a little out of kilter. I know this - when you do find your soulmate (when, not if!) you will be so ready for a strong relationship because of all that you have done to cultivate both the relationship with yourself and with other women. BELIEVE it!!! Bushels of love to you, sweet girl. Miss you!!!