Sunday, January 17, 2010

feelings

Ramapo Reservation

The writing is the easy part. My hand moves easily across the paper. I know how to shape my letters effortlessly. Writing, that is easy. The difficult part is the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I try to put down on the paper. How do I do them justice?

How do I express in words the way my stomach is filled with this buzzing feeling when you look into my eyes? It is like a wave of happiness pouring over me inside. Is there a word that can be used to help you understand this and feel it the way I do?

How do I put onto paper the safe feeling I felt standing in your kitchen engaged in conversation? Thoughts and feelings moving back and forth effortlessly between us. Such a simple thing, yet evoking so much within me.

How do I even begin to explain the sensation that grabbed a hold of my entire body when our lips pressed up against each other standing in your doorway? The softness that began with that simple little touch and spread out to ever limb in my body. How do I put into words that I did not want that moment to end?

How do you write out the incredible feeling of truly being seen for who you are? The feeling of being appreciated and valued? How do you explain how that makes you feel?

You see, writing is the easy part. Pouring out my feelings and emotions and having you understand them the way I feel them, that is the tough part. How do I do that?

5 comments:

beth said...

just like you did here...tell him jennifer, tell him everything...

Kolleen said...

wow!

i love how you write and i agree with beth...it is all right here! there may not be THEE PERFECT word to convey each of these moments...everything you wrote conveys it so beautifully!

love you sweet girl!
xxooxxoo
k

patty said...

Jennifer, once again I am blown away with the detailed and heartfelt authenticity of your writing. (and you are leaving just enough to the imagination for us to want to know more!) But I do get it - sometimes words are simply not enough and that's ok. The truth is in your heart.

elizabeth said...

just like you did here.

i love how you write.

Ellie said...

I love how I felt , when I read what you wrote! Tell the truth, tell this guy how you feel....

You put us there in your shoes, remind us of moments of tangled emotions.