Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Holding on to the Magic

Squam Workshops, New Hampshire

Coming home from squam I was on this amazing high.  Floating above the clouds from all the love and inspiration that enveloped me.  I have never experienced such magic before.  It was breathtaking.  

However now I sit here and cry.  Unable to figure out how to incorporate all those amazing feelings into my every day living.  I still have to pay my bills, still have to go to work, still have to do the dishes and think of something to cook for dinner.  My mind seems unable to grasp it all.  I am upset with myself because I have not carved out any time to create, any time to read, any time to just be with myself and soak in my emotions from squam.  I am in desperate need of a warm hug from the amazing
Thea and time to just sit and talk with the fabulous Jen Gray  I miss cozying up to the fire at night, telling stories, listening to brave souls pour out their hearts, and feeling seen for the first time in my life.  Coming back to NJ I feel slightly lost because I am unable to get a grip on it all.  I am juggling many things in my life and what I really need to do is put it all down.  Examine what is really important and pick only those things back up.  

My mind needs time to sort through it all.  To embrace the moment.  To cherish the memories.  And to figure out how to hold onto it and spread it around me.  

I am searching for answers.  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh jennifer, please be gentle with yourself. it is a lot to integrate and you are doing a great job with it all-- this was a beautiful post!-- just know it is enough to sit and breathe with intention-- in the car at a red light, in line at the coffee shop, in bed before you fall asleep.

it is enough to take one full moment to feel the intention of wanting more creativity and more self-expression in your life-- and simply BE with that--

be gentle with yourself -

~bisous, Elizabeth