Tuesday, January 08, 2008

2007 is Complete

I have wanted to do this exercise for awhile, but I felt it had to be perfect. So I kept putting it off. Forget that idea. Thank you Superhero for giving me the idea to toss my perfection out the window and allowing me to be messy. So here goes nothing....

2007 was a year of strength for me. I graduated college, which was a huge accomplishment for me. It took me awhile to do, but over that time I have had so many wonderful experiences. I am extremely proud of myself for going back, putting in the time and effort, and finally getting my degree.

I was also bold this past year and went on a trip to Mexico with strangers from Ramapo College. While I was there I met Christians mother and two brothers. Now that took some guts!! I was in another country where I only speak the language a little bit, and meeting my boyfriends mother without him...and she does not speak any English. WOW! My trip to Mexico was a trip of a lifetime, I learned so much about myself and gained more than I believe I was able to give.

Christian and I have also grown closer during 2007, in ways I was not even aware were possible. I feel we are more understanding, trusting, and loving towards one another in a much deeper way. It feels great to have this with him. We enjoy the little things together like swimming in our pool, riding our bikes, walking in the mountains, playing tennis. The summer was amazing for us. We enjoyed so many wonderful times together.

I connected more with some people through this blog. I feel that it is a huge accomplishment for me to be able to put myself out there this way. I was given the most wonderful opportunity of meeting the wonderful Jen Lemen. She is a divine inspiration, and it took a lot of strength and courage for me to go to NYC alone and meet her. It is scary to meet a stranger who inspires you so much over the internet.

However I must grieve for not being more creative, taking more time for myself, and following through with trying to learn more about myself. I really want to delve further into who I am. I keep putting it off. In 2007 I talked about it a lot inside my head, but never followed through. I forgive myself for not following through. I needed to think it out, I needed to feel my way through it.

I also forgive myself for giving out to much of myself. It is ok, it will all work out.

In the end of 2007 I got caught up with gossip. Listening to it and participating in it. That is not like me at all. I feel terrible about it. I want to go back to who I was before. An ear that simply soaked in the information, but made no judgements, and did not repeat it. I am a great listener, but no reason to throw in my two cents especially when it does not concern me. I forgive myself for getting involved, and I give myself the courage, strength, and inspiration to not participate in it anymore.

I also must grieve for not being fluent in spanish by now. I really should be. I have lived with Christian for two years now, I should be speaking fluent spanish. I do understand more, however I want to be 110% fluent. I forgive myself for not doing it. I also give my self the strength to be self disciplined enough to learn it this year. I will play more games in spanish, attempt to speak in spanish more often, and learn the language.

I now declare 2007 complete!!!

2008 is my year of self love and self discovery. The year of ME!!

I look forward to figuring out who I am over the course of this year. Thank you Andrea for this inspiration.

1 comment:

Marilyn said...

Great post! Try not to beat yourself up too much over the gossip and fluency...remember, part one is about forgiving ourselves...SO hard to do! :) I celebrate your YEAR OF ME! And look forward to seeing what 2008 will bring you. xoxo