Saturday, February 09, 2013

fears


I am not good at peeling hard boiled eggs
And am pretty bad at returning things to stores when I should
This is easy to admit

What is tough
Is hanging it all out there
Letting the world know what I am personally terrible at

I don't do great at showing up in public spaces
I have a fear of making a fool of myself
And rarely allow space to laugh at myself while unknown eyes are watching

I have a fear of the public
I shy away, back down, do not let myself have fun
It is as if they are going to choose my destiny for me

I am terrified of being embarrassed
Afraid of this unknown moment that may occur
I lock up

Even when I am out in the world alone
I think someone may be watching
I tend to dig deep into my introverted self

I want to let go more often
Play, laugh, have fun
Embrace the moment of goodness that I am in

So I am here
Stating my fears
Starting in this public space

My hope is that I will expand my wings
Take my fear to the streets
Let go and not worry about others

4 comments:

Gloria King said...

Dear Friend...You are spreading your wings with fears and all..You are flying high ..
Facing our fears I have found just makes us more human more vulnerable .. Many times they do not go away but facing them makes us aware of when they come up and I believe that with time we react in a way that is more caring and nurturing to ourselves...I love you very much Jen and I miss you...
by the way that sign was taped on the wall in the studio..

Kathryn said...

One of my favorite comments is "face your fear and do it anyway". Many of us have the same fears you express. Know that you're not alone when the fear arises.

aimee said...

I see so much of myself in this poem, right down to peeling hard boiled eggs. This is beautiful.

Ella said...

You already did-your words lift many wings and will help you soar! :D