the tango

During the day light hours I am deep in the throngs of the corporate world
Taking things off line
Attending touch bases
Circling back
Discussing my core competencies

Two nights during the week I am serving meals to families and individuals
Sometimes I am in the weeds
I 86 mustard
Add avocado
And shake up a tasty Apple Martini

And then in the moments between I am a writer
Pulling feelings from my heart
Giving them a voice on the page
Showing up, letting go
Vulnerably sharing myself

It is a tango of sorts
Dancing between the different languages
Navigating the varying degrees of appropriateness
Knowing when to speak from a place of feeling
And when to analyze based solely on facts

The heart is on a mission to win
Always looking to shed a layer of the corporate skin
Revealing a more confidante and comfortable self
Connections building through conversation
A moment of understanding and awareness

Within the three cubicle walls that surround me, my writer self is concealed
Only few know of my love affair with words
And passion to capture the world with my lens
I am reserved, and thoughtful
The quiet warrior getting the work done

In the hustle and bustle of the restaurant I am JenB
The girl no one really sees
Quickly falling under the radar as I go about the work at hand
Gracefully sweeping the floor, refilling ice, and bringing out the next tray of food
After two nights, I am gone until next week

But the writer self is always there
Weaving words together in my mind
Showing up, day after day
A new thought, a new moment to capture
A poem to be written

I do not always catch these words on the page
Sometimes they come, filling me with inspiration
Making my heart flutter
I say I will write them down
But I let them go

Other times I stop dead in my tracks
Grab my pen and notebook and have at it
The words flowing from my heart
Fueling my days
Inspring me to keep on going

I am a writer
No matter where I am the writer mind is always at work
Weaving words together, coming up with new ideas
Writing page after page in my mind
The writer in me never sleeps

And so I dance this tango
Moving from one job to the other
Constantly transitioning
Dancing, dancing, dancing
But always, always writing the story in my head