crayon box

Searching for the colors as the dark dreariness of gray is trying to take over
Reaching deep into the crayon box
Hoping to pull out a bright turquoise blue or sunshine yellow
Scribbling onto the page like a 3 year old
Digging back into the roots of my child like self
Drawing trees and big white puffy clouds
Heading back to a time when life was simpler
Darkness did not live deep in my heart
And the crayon box was always at my side
Bright colors dancing on the paper, as my heart sang
Working to get back to that place again

getting back up

Exhaustion encapsulating every inch of my body
Longing to crawl into the basment and hibernate
Dreams that I have been holding in my heart seem far out of reach
Slipping, tripping, falling
Struggling to keep my head up, figure out a plan, make it happen

A piece of me wants to throw in the towel
Crawl into bed and nap
But the other half of me knows I cannot give up
This dream is real, living and breathing inside of me
It feels to right to let it just slip away

Maybe a nap is on the agenda
Let the ideas settle into me
Give them space to breathe and grow
Go back to the drawing board and begin again

I will falter, and fall, but I must always get back up

the story of home

The story of home begins with each of us
Gathered here, sharing memories
Laughing, reminiscing, planning our next big adventure

The story of home begins even after we the fight
Disagreements occur, but never forgetting we are family
Always we have each others backs

The story of home begins with a roomful of people
Everyone talking at once, encouragement and praise being spoken
Helping each other navigate through life

The story of home begins even when the physical distance has grown
Emails shared, text messages sent
Home is always kept in our hearts

The story of home began when two fell in love
Creating eleven together
Love spreading, family growing, the story continues

showing up

Today you can find me over on your heART makes a difference.  Head on over there to hear all about how I lost my footing and realized that I had to just show up.

Where are you showing up today?

and the winner is ....

Having the opportunity to do this giveaway was so much fun!  I read each one of your comments and they filled my heart with joy as I wrote down each of your names on slips of paper.  Then when Dustin got home from work tonight he picked out one lucky winner.  And the winner is . . .

Kirsten,  from All Shiny and New!  Who won a spot in the This Moment class taking place over at WishStudios.  If you are not signed up I highly recommend heading on over there and signing up.  Class starts on Monday, and it is going to be good.  I am a guest contributor to the class and can hardly believe it.

I met Kirsten in 2008 on the coast of Oregon.  She is filled with so much light.  I had the pleasure of soaking in her beautiful smile and hearing her incredible laughter.  Kirsten shares many things over on her blog.  Head on over there to check it out, you will adore her.

I want to give a special thanks to Mindy over at Wishstudios for this incredible opportunity and to each of you for playing along.  This is so much fun.  I can't wait for This Moment to begin on Monday.

Giveaway - my very first one :0)

This is the moment
To embrace the beauty around you
Create what has been calling to your heart
Write down those dreams you have been keeping safely tucked away
This is the moment

Over at Wishstudios Mindy is offering the perfect class to welcome this moment into your life.  This five week class includeds daily posts (monday - thursday) filling you up with inspiration, your very own THIS moment Workbook filled with prompts to help keep you focused on the true beauty of your life, and a private space for sharing your art and thoughts.  It is going to be magical! 

THIS Moment is taking place April 23rd - May 24th and you won't want to miss it.  I am so excited to share that I have a guest appearance in the course and am over the moon excited about this.  I will also be taking the class, delving into This Moment right along side you.  Mindy shines so much light and inspiration in this world.  What she has created at Wishstudios is beautiful. 

Mindy has given me the opportunity to give away one spot in this fantastic class to one of my readers.  All you have to do is leave a comment below sharing one thing you are grateful for in this moment.  Saturday night at midnight the winner will be randomly selected.  I can't wait to here what you are grateful for and am so excited for my very first giveaway on my blog.

before, and now

I used to be fearful of my own voice
Never sure what would spill out
Or what people would think abut what I said

I used to try to blend into the wall
Never wanting to be the center of attention
Or embarrassed in any way

I used to be afraid to live
Never digging into what I wanted to do
Or even knowing what that thing was

Now I stand tall
Sharing my ideas and thoughts
Feeling strong in who I am

Now I show up
My heart on my sleeve, stories to tell
Moments to embrace

I am not longer afraid
I put myself out there, laugh boldly
Embrace fully who I am

Before I was going through life blindly
Now I am fully living

the other side

Look at things from all sides
Open up your eyes to what is there
You may see things you never knew existed
A whole new world of stories opening up
Gatherings occurring
Love flourishing
Beauty emerging

What do you see when you look at the other side?

squam saved my life

It is not every day that an experience or a moment comes along and changes your life forever.  That type of magic does not swirl through our every day lives, but when it does happen to scoop us up we have to to stop and cherish it. We have to hold onto it, appreciate, and tend it.

In 2008 I had one of those moments.  I took an enormous risk and ventured off into the woods of New Hampshire with two women I never met before to attend Squam Arts Workshops.  It was one of the bravest things I have ever done and since I stepped into those magical woods my life has never been the same.

A whole new world opened it's doors to me, kindly invited me in, and made room for me on the couch.  I was blown away.  My shy quiet self began to dig my own roots into my soul and discover things about me that I never knew.  Attending squam saved my life and changed it in an epic way.

You may be on the fence about going squam.  I know the nerves, feeling scared, unsure of what the experience is going to be like.  The thought of it can be terrifying.  Before I went to squam I was afraid no one would sit with me at lunch, I wouldn't fit in, I would have no one to talk to, just to name a few.  But as soon as I stepped into the woods that fear was washed away with a hug from Elizabeth. I was meant to be there.

There may be moments where you will feel completely uncomfortable, but that goes hand in hand with growth.  Before you are able to dig your roots deep you have to navigate the terrain, work through the hard soil, water the ground, and nurture yourself.  It is in this discomfort and uncertainty that the growth is taking place.  It is always scary to be in a place you have never been before, but if you sit with that uncomfortable feeling for just a little bit you will begin to sprout and you will be so glad you stayed.  Beautiful things unfold, connections are made, and your life is never the same.

If you are unsure about going to squam hop on over to their blog, I share my squam experience.  Maybe it will help to calm some of those nerves that are lurking inside of you.  And if you have any questions or want to know more, feel free to email me.  I would be so happy to chat with you about squam.  I know thinking about going can be terrifying, but actually going can be liberating.

feeling

We all have a story
And each of ours is different
Standing next to one another we may experience the same thing
But it breathes life into us in a unique way
Feelings, thoughts, ideas
Created from deep within us
We must be kind to one another
Respect where each of us is on our journey
Never judge someone for where they stand

And when we each look in the mirror
We must be kind to ourselves
Understand that healing takes time
Know that we are never alone
we have our unique feelings, but everyone feels
Every single one of us is going through many of the same basic emotions
Doubt, struggle, feeling like you aren't good enough, shame
No matter the circumstance we are all human inside

Reach out to each other
Offer up a smile to a stranger, hold the hand of a dear friend
Sometimes it is the smallest thing that makes the biggest difference
Walk with someone
Listen to the sound of their heart beat
Hear the story they really want to tell, but are to afraid to speak

showing up

In order to make it happen you have to show up and do the work
You won't just wake up one day and it be done, unless you work hard at it
The painter has to paint, the writer has to write, the flower has to grow
Each of us has to reach towards the sun to make our dreams come true
Pushing ourselves past our limits, exceeding our own expectations
Working harder than we ever thought
For big things to happen it takes time and dedication
Showing up day, after day, after day and laboring through
It may be difficult at times, but the end result is worth it
A dream come true, a flower blooming brilliantly in the sunshine
Do not get discourage when you see little or no progress being made
It is all part of the process
Just continue to show up, do your job, and your dreams will unfold