the storm is coming

There is an eerie calmness in the air tonight.  The wind blows, the leaves rustle.  A sense of uncertainty lurking about what Sandy will bring with her.  We have prepared as best we can.  The laundry is done, the outside elements brought in, the cabinets stocked.  We are ready to hunker down.

I took a walk this evening.  Listening to the leaves as they fell to the ground.  After Sandy all of them may be down.  The rain has not yet begun, but the wind is picking up.  People are on edge, scrambling to get what they can.

The storm is coming and each of us must battle through it.  We must also push through our own inner storms.  The ones we try to calm, but keep rearing there ferocious winds.  We must be gentle with ourselves.  Prepare, push through, hold hands with our neighbors, and together walk through to the sunshine.

May you be safe as the storm swirls and may you find the strength to make it through your own battles. Sending love and light.

bigger than the sky

Here
Beneath this sky, will you find me
Will you stop so we can share our dreams
Hold hands
Swap stories of where we have been

Will you share your heart with me
Be right here, in the moment
Tender love
Honesty
Raw heartfelt emotion

Will it be like the first time we met
Discovering each others beauty
Listening deeply
Fully engulfed in the moment

Or will you quickly move past me
Not even taking notice I am there
New people to discover
A different place to see
A whole new world opening up to you
Sisters taking you under their wing
Me feeling lost and forgotten

Have you grown bigger than me
Hands full
Unable to reach out and hold mine
Have I lost you in the glitz and the glam
Have you become one of the beautiful people

and so it grows

And so it growns
From the deep darkness the forest brings
Reaching for the light
Inching up
Slowly, slowly, slowly

And so it grows
On an unknown journey
Embracing the different paths to be taken
Digging its roots down deep
Head held up to the sun

And so it grows
Day after day
Night after night
Awakening to beauty
Discovering the strength it has within

And so it grows
Soaking in the rain drops
Feeling the breeze as it drifts by
Standing tall
Fiercly hold on

And so it grows
It true capacity and width unknown
Boldly facing each day
Grandly stepping forward
Living, living, living

postcards from the road

twenty years from now

Let's take a trip to the future.  To twenty years from today.  What adventures will I have taken?  Where will I have traveled?  What will I have done?  What lessons will I have learned?  What heartbreak will I have walked through?  

I will have opened up that studio I dream about today.  You know the art studio, where creative individuals gather.  Sharing their stories, creating side by side, supporting one another, laughing, dreaming, and planning for the future.  I will have been brave enough to just go for it and give it a try.  And it will have turned out to be a success.  People arriving unsure and afraid and leaving confidante, strong, and ready to take on their next big dream.  

I will have traveled a lot.  My passport filled with stamps, my heart and mind filled with stories.  I will have captured the beauty of the places I have seen.  Collecting photographs along the way and putting them together in a beautiful book of memories and stories.  

I will have found a house to live in with Dustin.  A house that we turn into a home.  It includes a little studio space that I can call my own.  My little oasis that I retreat to, to refuel my batteries, create, and dream.  A place to plan for the future, map it out and push through to the next step.  

I will have taught at different Art Retreats.  Inspiring individuals through my own writing workshop that I created.  Teaching that is is ok to just show up on the paper.  It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to be.  

I will have created my own yearly retreats.  A quaint little spot along the ocean where individuals gather for a few days at a time.  A place to disconnect from the real world and dig deep into connecting with ourselves.  A space where laughter rings through out, spontaneous dance parties occur, individuals arrive just as they are and leave fearless warriors ~ ready to take on the world around them.  

I will have married the man that fuels my heart with love and happiness.  Dustin and I will create a uniquely beautiful, thoughtful ceremony and party.  No white dress or tuxes.  But real people showing up, celebrating love and life and the beauty that occurs when the two collide and are fully embraced.  Traditions born.  Stories shared.  Moments captured beautifully on film and video.  A celebration of finding the one who gets you, makes you laugh uncontrollably, and fully loves you for every single thing that you are.  

I will have had my work published in multiple magazines.  My poetry, stories, and photographs shared with the world.  Artful Blogging, Mingle, Taproot, Uppercase ~ each of these magazines gently holding my work and showing it off to the world.  

I will have pulled together a beautiful book filled with my photographs and poetry.  A stunning work of art filled with spectacular photos and inspiring poetry.  

I will have written that book that is living deep in my soul.  You know the one, about letting go of fears, jumping in head first, and learning how to navigate the twist and turns of the world. The book that digs deep into peoples souls.  Lets them see that they are not alone, and empowers them to take that step that they have been fearful of taking.  The book will have taken me all over the states to share my story and meet individuals in person.  

I will have finally become better with money.  Learned how to save, and have saved.  I will have learned how to make more of it by doing the things that I love.  

I will have crafted a rich life.  Filled with laughter, love, joy, hand holding, moments of pure excitement and passion.  Surrounded by individuals that I adore and who also adore me.  Supporting one another, cheering each other on, Raising the bar for each other and nudging the other forward.

I will have created many amazing memories along side Dustin.  Adventures taken.  Memories created. Laughter, lots of laughter.  Love, hand holding, cuddling up close, walking beneath the stars.  Each of us growing boldly into ourselves and going after our dreams.    

I will be sitting here twenty years from now saying "yes, this is the life I am meant to be living"

alone

I know how it feels to be alone
To close the door and know the only way it will open is if you do so

I know how it feels to be alone, you are here, all by yourself
No one else will join you, it is just you

It can feel so amazing in one minute, and then terribly lonely in the next
I know how it feels to be alone

I can't imagine spending an incredible amount of years with someone
And then it is just you, alone

From that moment on, everything must be different
You used to have this way of being
Inside jokes
A way of working together

And now here you are alone

No longer in your space that you called home for so many years
Surrounded by new people, a new place
Nothing familiar
Everything changing

I could not imagine that type of alone
How that must feel
How lonely it could be

All I know is what it feels like to be alone
After being with someone for only a short time

How does one adjust to being alone after years of being together?
How does one continue on, happy, alert, appreciative of just being here?

How?  How?

postcard from the road

healing my soul

photo credit:  dustin pita

I stop here
Soaking in the beauty that surrounds me
Deeply breathing in the air
Reaching my head up towards the sun
Digging my feet deep into the ground

This space heals my soul

I come back to myself
Remember what is truly important
Nature provides me space to be
A reason to pause
An opportunity to stop and capture

This space heals my soul

I need these moments
Reflecting on what was
Dreaming of what is to come
And being right here, right now
All of it weaving together

This space heals my soul

It is medicine for my mind
Love and hope for my heart
A bit of self care that I must remember to practice
Showing up in this space
Lifts me up and takes me home

This space heals my soul