i write

I write to put my thoughts on paper

To release my mind of the worries and fears I have

I write from my heart

To express what my soul wants the world to hear

I write so that others can see what I feel

To connect with those who understand

I write for myself, but also for you

I write

allendale, nj

"Yes I know there ain't no finish line, I know this never ends

But I'm just learning how to fall, climb back up again

I know there is nothing perfect, I know there is nothing new"

~everclear, learning how to smile

magic is in the air

This year I was unable to be surrounded by the magic of squam. A type of magic that really cannot be described in words. But it feels something like:

• your heart bursting with love
• the sound of laughter singing it's sweet song
• stories being shared
• indviduals breaking their heart open, shedding their fears, and sharing their dreams
• cuddling around a campfire
• truly being seen, loved, and cherished for exactly who you are

The list could go on and on. It is the type of feeling that can be seen pouring from my eyes as I talk about my time spent there. A smile coming over my face that I cannot contain. Squam was a dream come true for the creator, Elizabeth. It is a place that will forever be engrained in my heart. The place I grew my wings. It was the place that helped lead me here. A placed swirling with magic.

If you have even the slightest incling that you should go I say take the chance. I would love to gather with you there next year. Snuggle up close next to the fire. Hold you hand as we walk through the woods. And listen to your story.

squam lake, new hampshire

Create the life you want to be living
Be open to accept what the universe has in store for you
Begin to embrace the beauty that surrounds you
You can choose the path you take
Try something that scares you
Doing so will inspire others
Take a deep breath in and
Meditate on what your heart truly desires

in the park

bench, Central Park NYC

I have never seen another place
where so much diversity stands side by side
as what can be found in Central Park

It is incredible
inspiring
and so fun to be surrounded by

A women playing her violin
A little boy juggling
A group of boys break dancing

You can see it all in the park
Hear all sorts of sounds
And walk side by side with all sorts of people

It is beautiful so see it all in one place
So much to watch, so much to see
People, just being people in the park

first encounter

Sitting across the table from you
Looking directly into your eyes
Nervousness emulates from my body
As your knee brushes up against mine
And we share stories from days long past

If only there was a way to bottle up this feeling
Nervous
Excited
Scared
Happy
Everything rolled into one ball of emotion

This feeling will only be for tonight
After then we know each other a little bit more
We understand what it is like to be near one another
We feel a little bit more comfortable

We will go onto have fun
Get to know one another
Creat beautiful memories
The feelings floating around tonight will be forgotten
Never even spoked of again

But I want to hold onto this moment in time
Where possibility is in our hands
Things are pure and unjadded
We see only the good
And embrace each other with pure excitment

...

taken while riding in the MS bike ride

"Surrender to the mystery of it all"

the ride

my shadow during the MS bike ride

The goal is set

You go off alone
Determined to make it
The sound of the wind rushing past your ears
Beauty surprising you around every corner
The push up hill is difficult
The miles are long
But you keep going
You garner all your strength and you finish
You do it for those who can not

For those showing there strength even through there suffering

You accomplished what you set out to do

breathe

breathe, originally uploaded by Jennifer Belthoff.

breathe
take it all in
relax
enjoy
this life is beautiful
and you are a part of it

taking it all in

, originally uploaded by Jennifer Belthoff.

When it comes to photographing people I get all shy and nervous. I am not sure why. But this fear takes over me and I feel so self conscious. I can't shake it. Sure I can be silly and photograph myself with people holding my arm out with camera in hand as far as it can to ensure everyone is in the photo. In fact this is one of my favorite ways to take photos with people. It feels more intimate than someone else taking the camera and snapping the photo. And sure it is easy to photograph flowers, the sunset, and clouds. They are not staring back at me. Watching me contort into all different positions to get the perfect shot. They don't care what the photo looks like after I take it, in fact they don't even ask to see it. But with people it is all so different. They want to see what I snapped and are curious how it comes out. I feel terrified that I will not live up to there expectations of what they thought the photo would look like.

I am still struggling with my larger camera. Still trying to figure out how to get better shots. Not sure if it is my lens but for some reason a lot of my photos (even outdoors) come out a little fuzzy. I just can't figure it out. So the pressure builds when a person is looking at me as a take the picture. The intimate look in there eyes as they allow me to capture a moment in time. I want to feel more comfortable photographing people. I want to learn more about my camera so the photos come out crisp and clear.

For now, to start breaking through my fear I have begun photographing people from behind, when they don't even know I am taking the shot. This gives me time to breathe and relax without them staring right at me. It lets me take the photo without them asking to see it. It is a small step but none the less it is step.

Spinning

Things have been moving so fast,
so furious
I am not even sure when it began,
or if it will end.
But it keeps coming and going
I am running
trying to catch up
trying to stay afloat
It is not easy to move this fast all the time
I am running out of steam

I must take a deep breath
slow down
The world is moving fast
but I don't have to keep up
I can relax
Soak in the beauty
Gain my strength

Take a deep breath
Look around
There is so much the world has to offer