Lit

Lit for hope, peace, confidence, a feeling of self.

Lit for the light that is struggling at times inside me to stay alive

Lit for everyone who has the struggle, the fear, the moment inside when you don't feel good enough, strong enough, or able to take that next step

Lit for the sunshine of a new day to shine in my heart and yours

To heal, to allow miracles to happen, and to observe the beauty that surrounds me

Lit for myself and also for you.

Lit with love, patience and kindness 

Lit with a smile and a tear 

Everything we go through we have someone who understands, who knows the feeling and who is willing to listen, hold are hand, and wipe away our tears or laugh along side us

Hold your candle out to them in times of struggle and they will light it for you, as you know you would do the same for them

Lit for the goodness that each of us has with in us and spreads throughout the world.

Speak UP!

Words,

So easy to put on paper

So easy to hide between the pages of my favorite books, underneath my pillow, and tucked far away only to be discovered on some unknown rainy day.

I can scribble anything down and I have the choice

To keep it, hide it in a safe place, tear it up, or even burn it.

Yet speaking those words out loud is a lot more scary.

You cannot so easily take them back

You cannot so easily erase what you only saying in pure emotion.

Once they pass your lips, that is it

It is difficult for me to speak at times

I am not sure what to say, how to say it, or even if what I am saying makes sense

I talk in circles, never really getting to the point

Or  I don't speak at all.

But I want to jump over this hurdle

I want to speak my mind, be myself, and say whatever it is I am thinking

No matter how foolish or silly it may sound to someone else.

Eventually I will find there are people out there who won't think my words are so foolish, 

and I can guarantee you they are standing besides me today

Supporting me, loving me, and giving me strength even when they don't realize.

So I must be brave

Stand tall

and speak UP!

Back on Track

I need to get back on track

Pick up the pen,

Pick up the paintbrush,

Click the camera.

I need to get back into my creativity

Feel the lines on the paper

the paintbrush gliding across

Find something new from my lens

I need to see things differently

I need to look for them

I need to embrace them

I ventured off the road,

but I am not to far off.

I just need to get back on track.

Suddenly I see

I have been lagging.  Dragging my feet on the floor, keeping my head down and not really taking in all the beauty that surrounds me.  I have hidden my creativity away in desk drawers, and under piles of papers.  My camera bag has seemed to be sewn shut.  

But....not today.  

Driving this morning the sky was so beautiful.  I have not noticed the sky in such a long time, and it is one of my favorite things.  

So I decided that today I was going to dust off the cobwebs and dive into some good old creative fun.  

It began with some painting.

and then I decided to put on my dancing shoes.

I needed to feed my soul.  I needed to get my hands dirty with paint and let loose.  To feel the beauty that surrounds me.  

My heart feels happier, my well doesn't feel as dry, and there is a huge smile on my face.  Life certainly is beautiful.  

Such a long time...

It has been such a long time since I have been here.  

It feels like I am treading on unknown waters.  

I have been drowning in my thoughts and struggling to swim to the surface during these cold winter months.  

It is dark, gray and dreary.  

I have felt a whirlwind of emotions:

happiness, sorrow, loss, compassion, anger, alone, fulfilled.

Each emotion pulling at the other leaving me confused and unsure.

Some days I forget how to stand

Other days I am dancing gracefully through the air with ease.

My heart feels full 

My soul feels empty

A roller coaster ride of thoughts creeping up on me when I least expect it.

I long for creativity, for a sense of self, and a smile to come back to my face.  

I long to feel whole again.  

I am not sure how I got here.

I didn't notice myself venturing off the path, but I wander sometimes.

It can lead to brilliant adventures or dangerous struggles.

I am on the edge of the struggle.  

Chichitas

My little pescadito has come to the end of his life.

It is a sad day for me.

I loved that little fish dearly.

He has been through so much, and survived.  

He truly was a fighting fish.  

I miss you Chichitas!