Memories

Last summer...

Was simply a blast.

Filled with amazing memories, lots of laughing, road trips, and great times.  

I wonder what the summer of 08 will bring now that things are so different. 

What will it be like spending the summer alone???

The Light!

Sometimes I get these moments.  These "ah-ha" moments when I feel the switch in my head turn on.  The light bulb goes on, the spark ignites the fire.  I am not sure how it happens, or why it happens but I am really glad that I am in tune to it happening.  I feel it taking place.  Normally it is on the right side of my head.  Which brain is that?  It happened today.  The switch went off.

 To often we concentrate on the sadness.  The mistakes, the things we have done wrong, or wish would have happened.  But take a look around.  Look at everything that has happened for you.  Look at all the good things and throw away the regrets.  Throw away the mistakes.  Throw away the hurt and anger.  So much happiness encompasses our every day.  Embrace that with open arms.  

I need to go back to making my list at night of what made me happy that day.  A short list comprising of only three things.  Out of twenty four hours in a day it should be easy to find three things that made me smile, made my heart skip a beat, made my life worth living.  

Three Things I am Grateful for Right Now...

1.  My opportunity at my job.  It has been an amazing chance to gain experience, meet new people, and hopefully get hired.

2.  Having the opportunity to live on my own.  I have the chance to explore myself, prove to myself I can do it, and learn what really moves me and makes me happy.

3.  The opportunity to meet a new friend.  Laugh, smile, and have the chance to take a trip.  Memories being created.  

The Middle

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet.

It's only in your head you feel left out

or looked down on.

Just try your best, try everything you can.

And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of this ride

Everything will be just fine, everything will be allright.

Hey, you know they're all the same.

You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.

Live right now."

~The Middle, Jimmy Eat World

Confusion

I close my eyes

It is dark

Even when I open them

It is dark

I am not sure where I am going

The path I am on is long

At times I feel like I should stray,

Other times I feel glued to where this path is leading me

I am not sure where I am going

Darkness surrounds me

Envelopes me into this sacred feeling of 

being alone, terrified, and completely at peace

All of these feelings exist inside me

Swirly around

Meshing together

Blending into one thick paste

Which has taken over my heart.

I am not sure where to turn,

Not sure how to break through this hard shell

So for now I will let this hardness settle, but only for a short while

Soon I will need to break out my hammer and chisel away.

Does something soft and tender still exist under there?

and the trouble...

"And the trouble I find is that the trouble finds me

It's a part of my mind, it begins with a dream

And a feeling I get when I look and I see

That this world is a puzzle, I'll find all of the pieces

And put it all together, and then I'll rearrange it

I'll follow it forever

Always be as strange as it seems

Nobody ever told me not to try"

~Jack Johnson~ Talk of the Town

Side by Side

We used to stand side by side

Walk hand and hand

Look into each others eyes

What do we do now?

How do we act now?

How did we even get here?

I don't have any answers, 

I am not even sure what is going on

But here we are...

not side by side.