Fall Days

The Fall is beautiful.  Fabulous colors, brilliant sunshine glowing through the changing colors of leaves.  Cool days and crisp nights.  However, as beautiful as it is, fall is a time for me to mourn the end of summer.  

I am a summer girl.  I enjoy the feel of the bright sunshine warming my skin.  Sitting outside reading a book.  Stargazing at night.  Going for a walk or playing  a fun game of tennis.  Riding my bike to the grocery store and laughing the whole way home because I bought way to many things and now I must juggle them while continue to pedal my bicycle.  

The summer is a time for me to play.  I embrace this fully and almost make it my full time job.  However when the fall days start to get cold all I can think about doing is curling up under my blanket and not getting out until spring time.  

So if you are looking for me, that is where you can find me.  Curled up in bed enjoying a movie or reading a good book.  Possibly I will find something to keep me warm enough in the fall winter days and I will come out and play.  But until I find that you won't find me.  

Today...

You  won't believe this, but I am sitting outside wearing a skirt and short sleeves as I write this.  Soaking up the fabulous sun shine.  It is probably about 70 degrees.  Oh I know the cold is on it's way.  I am sure by Wends it will be here to mock me and show off its  bitterness.  

But for today I am embracing the sunshine and letting the gentle breeze give me a healing embrace.  

The geese are flapping their wings on the water, even going under for a quick swim -  something I never knew they did.  

Dragonflies are perfecting their dance of love while hovering along the coast line of the pond and grass.  The fall colors glisten the trees, and a turtle sits a top a rock enjoying the sunshine as much as I am.   

 

People have come to enjoy this place with me.  A couple eating take out lunch on a the picnic table, a women taking a nap while the sun fills her head with dreams.  A gentleman on his lunch break, prepared for days like today with is very own chair.  Munching on a sandwhich and soaking up the words on the pages.  Another old man across the pong, enjoying the company of the geese perched on the grass besides him.  He choose the shade for some reading.    

And here I am, taking it all in.  Observing the passing of time, changing seasons, comparing in my mind the young boy whose mind is filled with wonder and imagination playing on the playground and the old man deep in thought.  So many years of memories to look back on. And here I sit between them.  Closer to the boy, yet not so far from the old man.  The breeze blowing, the sun shining, the leaves changing color.  A little far from home, feeling more connected to myself. 

Doing My Part

I take my canvas bags to the grocery store.  

I turn off the lights when I leave a room,

and make sure Chris does the same.  

Chris and I  ride our bike's to the supermarket when we can,

and trek our things home in our backpack's.

We carpool to work.  

I will open the window instead of putting on the ac,

and put on a sweater instead of turning on the heat.  

I drop off my old clothes to the clothes bins, instead of throwing them away.  

I am working on turning off the water while washing the dishes, and brushing my teeth.

On buying products that are more enviormentally friendly,

and recycling better.

I am trying to do my part.

I had a conversation with someone the other day who called me a "greeny" for bringing my own bags to the supermarket.  I am not even sure what that word means.  But it shocked me that he mocked me for doing my part.  

Of course I will do my part if it means making the world a little better for myself and my children.  

Of course I will do my part if it means saving something that is so precious and brings me so much joy.

Of course I will do my part.

What holds you back from doing yours? 

And why mock me for wanting to leave this place a little better than I found it?

Disenchanted

She walks amiss alone at alone at night

Seeing things that aren't there

Her dreams are real

In her mind she sees visions

Visions of days long past,

dreams of days to come

She believes so much in these mirages

She can not tell where her dreams end 

and life begins

What will happen to this lifeless soul

Moving through her routine, but 

not feeling life

There is so much for out there for her

So much more she should experience

Yet, her body has trapped her soul

Please someone, find the key

Set her visions free

Coming into my Own

I picked up a book tonight of some of my old writings.  It is amazing to look back on that.  To be able to see the growth and change that has occurred within me.  I used to be scared and afraid.  Blending into the background, not wanting to be seen.  Terrified of being inside my own skin.  Hiding behind the books I was reading.  

Over time I have grown into my skin and became comfortable with myself.  Confidence is growing inside me and with each passing day I am stronger and braver.  My creativity is flourishing and my dreams are expanding and I feel like I will be able to accomplish them.  

It is wonderful to know that hard work does pay off.  To be able to see and appreciate how beautiful life is.  And to have the ability to dream and make those dreams come true.  

It is easy to be nice to other's, and thank them for thing's they do for you.  However we rarely take the time to thank and appreciate ourselves.  I deserve a huge thank you.  For being so patient, for never giving up, for having the strength to keep going.  Life is not easy at times.  I pushed through it, I allowed myself to grow and develop.  To become the person I am today.  Thank you.  For allowing me to see my potential and to continue to reach that each day.  

Bungee chord

Struggling...

To get both of our bicycles positioned perfectly on our car bicycle rack.  

Twisting, turning, maneuvering.  

Like everything else in life we just need to find the perfect position.  

But first lets return to two hours early...

Taking the bikes off.

Struggling...

To position our lunch bag on the back of my bike.

Twisting, turning, maneuvering.

Trying to find the perfect position.

We decide we need to purchase a bungee chord the next time we go to the store.

Struggling over,

we found the perfection position.

And we begin our adventure down the bicycle path.  

Stopping for lunch and

a little game of hopscotch.  

Asking each other questions about life and living.

Enjoying the sunshine and the warm weather.

Enjoying each others company. 

Back to the car.

Struggling.....

Twisting, turning, maneuvering.

Over walks a gentleman with a bungee chord in hand.

He advises us about how to position the bikes,

and he gives us the bungee chord.  

We thank him graciously and he trots away with his dog.  

The bungee chord angel  

Stopping by to give us exactly what we needed.  

How did he know?

and How did he happen to have it with him in his car?

Thank you bungee chord angel!

Thank you for taking the time to stop and help.

Thank you for seeing our human struggle and not just looking away.  

Thank you for the bungee chord!!

Life List

I have this one life,

This one amazing moment in time.

There is so much I want to experience, 

so much I want to feel...

How do I do it all?

How do I accomplish everything I want to?

Sometimes, when things are not just in my head...

but written down on paper they feel more real.

So I did just that.  

The old fashioned way, pen to paper.

Then I brought my list with me onto this medium,

The world wide web!!! (does anyone still call it that?)

For anyone to see.

And now I feel obligated...

To hold my part of the bargain.  

To actually do the things I want to do.

To keep the promises I have made to myself, 

and have put out to the world.  

In the past these lists sat tucked away in draws,

only  to be discovered years later.

However now it is out there....

my hearts deepest desires,

floating in cyber space.  

So now I can keep track.

I can cross things off and add more things on.

And if you want to help I could always use to cheering on.  

You can check out my list here, and I hope it inspires you to make a list of your own.  

Moving!

Come November 30th our time here at this wonderful apartment, which we love, will be over.  It is wonderful here and we are going to miss this place, it is just our budget can not handle the rent increase :(

So....

Dear Universe,

Can you please bring Christian and I a wonderful studio/one bedroom space.  We are looking for wonderful windows which bring in lots of natural light.  We really want to stay around with area because we share our car, and it would be much easier with both of us working together in Ramsey.  We both have an enormous love for the outdoors and want a great outdoor sitting space.  We want a place we can call home.  

Thank you for taking the time to listen to our request.  We appreciate the hard work you do each day and look forward to our new space.

Thank you.

Love,

Jennifer and Christian

I have never downright asked for exactly what I wanted.  It feels liberating to do so...