letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

I am not sure where to begin.  It was nice to receive your letter, but my heart is so heavy for the passing of your brother.  I could not even imagine what you and your family are going through.  Your life forever changed.  

Know that you are in my thoughts and I have been sending you so much love.  The road ahead will feel as if you are traveling all up hill.  You may feel lost and unsure where to turn.  Know that there are people out there, like me, who will sit right beside you.  Ready to hold your hand, listen to your stories, or just sit there with you in silence.  

It is in moments like this that we must lean on others, even when it feels difficult to do so.  Friends have a way of lifting us back up, holding us gently, and letting us just be.  Lean in deeply and know that you are loved and seen, even as you struggle through your pain and loss.    

There is nothing in this world like the bond that forms between family.  It is a love that never falters.  There will be disagreements. Moments where you do not get along.  But when it comes down to it you will always be there for one another.  

The love you have for your brother will live on in your heart and be expressed every day when you think of him.  He will always be with you.  Looking down, cheering you on, and watching you grow.  

Sending you so much love as you navigate through this and know that I am here for you.  

xo

Jennifer

{13}

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

The hot days of summer have definitely shown it's face around NJ these past couple of weeks.  Bright sunshine, high humidity, and incredible sporadic thunderstorms.  Everything the summer is to be.  I am enjoying every minute of it.

I love hearing that you have a few things up your sleeve and have been soaking in your summer days as well.  That is what life is all about - - - enjoying the moments, scheming up ideas, and relaxing deep into the flow and movement that engulfs us.

I have been working diligently on my online class offering.  I love how it is coming together so organically.  The pieces fitting together and opening up parts of me that I didn't realize were still closed off.

One of the topics that came up as I was brainstorming ideas and putting thoughts down on paper for the class was - - - the opportunities we didn't take.  The moments we were to afraid to make that daring decision and instead stuck with the comfortable and familiar.  Those untaken chances haunt us.  Filling us with wonder regarding what could have been.

What is devastating is that we will never know what could have happened had we made a different decision, took the risk, spread our wings and trusted that we could fly.  That thought is sitting deeply with me these past few days.  And I am allowing it space to wash over me and breathe deeply into my soul.

Are there any chances that you didn't take that you wish you did?  Moments in time when you could have risked it all but when for the safe path instead?

Sending you so much love this letters across the miles tuesday.  I hope you are doing well and that the sun is shining brightly on your world.

xo
Jennifer
{11}

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

How was your "Kick Off to Summer trip?  I loved seeing some photos on your blog.  It cracked me up to see Chilis in one of them because my second job is at Chilis.

What fun things did you do and see?  What is your favorite memory from your time away?

Memorial Day weekend around here was filled with rain, wind, and cold weather.  Not the usual kick off to summer.  I can't believe that it is already almost June!

I love this time of year and am looking forward to the sunshine, flip flops on, and time spent outdoors.  Dustin and I may be heading to Chicago in a couple of weeks to catch a few baseball games.  I have never been so would love to go.

I have been busy around here with all different creative projects.  My mind is working at warp speed and my hand can't keep up to get all of the ideas down.  I just opened up sign ups for the next round of Love Notes and can't wait until we start.  Registration is open until June 15th.  I hope that you will join in.  It is the one year anniversary of the project.  I can't believe that it was a year ago when I started it.  It has been so much fun to host each session and I love looking back and seeing how it has evolved.

This weekend I am hosting a little girls art date with three girls.  I am looking forward to getting them together and digging into some creative fun.  I love working with children.  Their honest demeanor and try anything attitude is always such a blast of fresh air.

I wonder when I lost my try anything demeanor.  When I became afraid of getting hurt, or not wanting to put myself out there.  I wish I could go back to that one moment when the switch flipped and tell that little girl to continue on that path.  That it doesn't matter what others think, all that matters is that in your heart you are happy.

It is amazing how as a child we are fearless and as we get older we try so hard to get back to those roots.  To live without fear, embrace the moment, let loose and just have fun.  I want to dance around like no one is watching and fall deeply into joy.

Hope you are settling back into home and reminiscing about your time away.

Sending you so much love from NJ

xo
Jennifer
{08}

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

Happy May!  Have you gone on your Kick Off to Summer trip to Maine yet?  I know I have said it before but I so love that you guys take a Kick Off to Summer trip.  What a great tradition and a beautiful way to spend time together.  Can't wait to see some photos of your adventure.

I love that you have a view of the city from your office.  There is something so amazing about the feeling that comes from being in a buzzing city.  So much to take in.  People going from here to there.  Stories around every corner.  What a great place to sit and write during the warmer months.

I have been soaking in all the sunshine that May has brought us.  Being on my bicycle is complete and total freedom.  It clears my mind and makes me feel so incredibly happy.  It is the best therapy ever.  I love this time of year.  I will definitely share photos of my adventures.

I have been trying to carve out some time for myself and a little self care each day.  In the morning when I have a bit of extra time I will pick up a favorite book and soak in a few inspiring words to start my day.  It has gotten me off on the right foot when I do it.

Why is self care the last thing we think of to do?  So easily and willingly we take care of others but taking care of ourselves requires a bit more of a push.  I always drain myself to the core before I take the time to care for myself.  It is just not the way to do it.

How do you nourish your soul?  Any ideas for working self care into your normal routine?

Sending you so much love today.  I hope the sun is shining down on you.

xo
Jennifer
{07}

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers during the passing of my Nana.  It was a long few days, but there were so many beautiful memories of her radiant life that were shared which warmed my heart.  It is never easy when someone passes but we all know that she is in a better place looking down on all of us.

This past weekend I hosted my very first Feast of Words.  Oh Kristine, how I wish you could have been a part of it.  It was magical.  An intimate group of women gathered to share a meal and pour there heart onto the page.  I wish you could have seen the topics that arose from the writing prompts . . . the words and heartfelt emotion that they shared . . . the kindness, love and support that they gave one another. . . it was all so beautiful.  I am still in awe that it all unfolded as it did.

I definitely want to host another one and dreamed last night of "taking the show on the road."  I would love to be able to show up in peoples home town and host a Feast of Words event in their home.  What a big, bold dream, but oh how wonderful it would be.

Dustin and I went to our first baseball game of the season this past weekend.  It was so fun.  We both love baseball and have the same desire to go to every single stadium.  I love seeing how each stadium is different and love the enthusiasm the fans have for their hometown team.  Even though we are Yankees fans we went to see the Mets.  He has never seen the stadium before and it has a really great feel to it.

I  am so happy to hear that you are enjoying your job!  That is fantastic.  If you make your way to New York City let me know.  I am right around the corner from there.  How fabulous it would be to get to meet up.

How are your plans going for your "Kick Off to Summer" trip to Maine.  I love that you guys do a kick off to summer trip.  What a fantastic idea.  I have never been to Maine but have heard it is beautiful.  Have you been there before?

Dustin and I are not so good with the planning when it comes to trips.  He brings up a million ideas and then changes his mind a million and one more times.  So we have a few balls juggling in the air but am not sure which one we will actually catch.

I am looking forward to getting back on my bicycle again and exploring.  It is one of my favorite things to do during Spring and Summer.  I also enjoying sitting outside on my front patio reading and writing.  This is my favorite time of year.

Until next time my dear.  Sending you so much love and I look forward to hearing from you.

xo
Jennifer
{06}

Letters Across the Miles

Dear Kristine,

Oh what a week it has been.  At 12:05 am on Sunday my Nana passed away.  Five minutes after her 84th birthday.  She had been battling Alzheimer's for a long time and now she is dancing an Irish Jig among the stars.

She always had a smile radiating from her face.  Her patience, kind heart, and loving spirit was infused into everyone around her.  During the end of her life the conversation was mostly focused around the disease. Now that she has passed there are so many wonderful memories being shared about her time here.

She was married to my Pop-Pop for 62 years.  Together they raised eleven children.  She was a part of twenty three grand children's lives and also six great grand children.  There are also a countless number of friends of the family who say they are the twelfth and thirteenth Belthoff.

It is amazing to look at these numbers and witness first hand how tight knit this family dynamic is.  A family that large is rare to find these days.  And a family that hangs out together, laughs deeply, and is there for one another no matter what is also not so easy to find, but that is the Belthoff family.

I am one of the lucky ones.  I was blessed to be able to grow up with all four of my grandparents.  In fact they lived around the block from one another.

I have so many wonderful memories of my Nana.  Having raised eleven kids she was the all knowing one.  When I had the chicken poxs and my mom wasn't sure she brought me over to her house to confirm.  I remember standing on the kitchen chair as my Nana inspected me.

Every year for Easter she gave each grandchild a stuffed animal in their Easter basket.  Just imagine over time how many stuffed animals that is.  My mom still lines the steps of our home with those bunnys and chicks each Easter.

She had a warm heart and the brightest smile.  I never once heard her raise her voice.  She had a deep love for her family and the New York Yankees.  She also deeply loved each of the four legged barking friends that we a part of her life throughout.  Taffy stayed by her side the last few months before her passing and gave my Nana so much joy.

Although this is a really sad time I know in my heart that my Nana lived 84 beautiful years.  All of us have so many incredible memories stored in our hearts.  She will live on in each of us for sure.

So my world has been turned upside down a bit, but so has everyone's world with the bombing at the Marathon in Boston.  My heart just breaks to see moments like this occur in our world.  I know that you are near that area, how are things going near you?  Are you close to where it occurred?

My dear friend, I hope where you are the sun is shining on you.  I know you started a new job and would love to hear about it.  Please share any bright and shiny news you have.  The world needs to hear it.

Sending you so much love!

xo
Jennifer
{05}  

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

Tuesday came and went.  After getting out of work from the restaurant last night I was lying in bed and it hit me, "oh my goodness, I never wrote my letter."  These past few days have flown by in a thick haze.  Holiday weekends tend to do that to me.

It was wonderful spending time with family over the weekend.  I have a very large extended family.  My father is one of eleven --- therefore there are many aunts, uncles, and cousins in the mix.  We have entered a new phase of life where my brothers and cousins have children of their own.  There are six new little ones in the family and as I was sitting at my Uncles house on Easter Sunday I was taken aback by this new generation that was just starting their life.  It feels like only yesterday that my cousins and I were kids and now here they are having kids of their own.

It is great fun having this new generation around.  Holidays have a new sparkle to them.  And seeing my cousins and brothers as parents is mind blowing.  It makes me wonder how I am going to be when I have children of my own.  It is also neat to watch how their children interact with one another; new relationships and connections forming.  My hope is that they even though they aren't "cousins" that they grow up to have the relationship that my cousins and I had growing up and still have today.  Sleepovers, parties, cousin's nights, hanging out together, knowing that no matter what we are family.

I love reminiscing with my family about times past.  Whenever my brothers and I go back in time tears are always rolling down my face from laughing so hard.  Those are the moments that this life is all about.  Connecting, laughing, and being in the moment.

Spring is here and it makes me happy.  I am looking forward to when the sun is shining brightly and I can wear my flip-flops without my toes freezing.  You have me thinking about what I want to do this Spring that I have never done before.  Hmmm, that is a really great question.  I am not sure.

There are many things that I have done before that I am looking forward to.... feeding the ducks, sitting outside on my porch at night with a good book and a glass of wine, walking with Dustin, going to the park with my niece, wishing on stars, nights around the fire, planting herbs, and grilled bbq chicken.  During this time of year I spend as much time outside as possible.  What is on your Spring/Summer Bucket list?

Wishing you a wonderful week!      

xo
Jennifer
{04}

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

With each letter I receive from you I see more and more how much we are alike.  Where I live there is a pond in the complex and Dustin and I go there often to feed the ducks and take photographs.  It is so peaceful and I just love that we are able to walk right over. 

Winter is being resilant this year.  We had another snow storm last night that left a few inches on the ground.  The rain seems to be starting now so it may be washed up before the day ends, but it is a good reminder that we never know what is on the horizon in life.  Each corner we turn there is a new unexpected journey. 

I love that you met your new neighbor.  Have you had the opporutnity to have coffee with her yet?  It is so wonderful when those unexpected moments happen in life.  This past weekend a couple of my friends and I gathered around and created.  We each bring what ever we are working on, spread the art supplies on the table and dive into deep converstaion that gets the creative juices flowing.  It is the perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon.   

As we were gathered together I was dying to tell them about some big news.  I wrote an article that is coming out in Somerset Life.  Every time I went to go tell them the fear monsters started shouting...."what if it doesn't get published, what if it doesn't get published, don't embarress yourself and say something until you see it."  So I held the news tucked away into my pocket until yesterday.  In between work at the office and work in the resturant I stopped at the mail box.  As soon as I opened that little silver door I saw it and instantly new it was the magazine. 

Oh my goodness Kristine I am so incredibly excited. This is a dream come true for me.  I was shaking as I opened up the magazine.  I started shouting and dancing around my home.  I was in complete shock.  The article looks more beautiful than I ever imagined it would and I can't belive this dream actually came true.  

I am a firm beliver in stating our dreams and then going after them.  If we never speak them the universe never knows we want them.  It was a few years back when is stated this dream and today it came true.  What is a dream that you have that you would love to see come true?

Sending you so much love!  Happy letters across the miles Tuesday. 

xo

Jennifer

{03}

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

It was so great to hear from you!  I cannot believe that we are already in March.  This year is flying by, however I am really looking forward to Spring and all the snow melting.  The past couple of mornings when I have left for work I have heard the birds chirping and it brings me such great pleasure.  I love hearing their songs as I walk to my car.

This past week has been a really good week for me.  I am taking steps towards some of the projects I have sitting on the shelf collecting dust.  It feels good to begin.  To just jump in and see where it goes.
These projects on the shelf are my dreams, and I cannot just sit there and watch them fade into the darkness.

Sometimes it takes someone to push us to begin, and that is exactly what I needed.  A strong swift push out the door into the broad daylight to really begin to see who I am, and what it is I really want to accomplish.

All to often I find myself looking at what other people are doing and thinking that I would love to do what they are.  But I am not them.  I have a gentler voice.  A calmer spirit.  I need to find my own way in the world.   I need to listen deep to my heart to find out what it is that would make me shine with happiness.  With the help of this swift push out the door, I am finding this.

What has your week been like?  What adventures have you gone on?  Are you ready for Spring time?

Sending you so much love this week.

xo
Jennifer
{02}

letters across the miles

Letters written between friends seems to have become a thing of the past.  But it shouldn't be.  Which is why Kristine and I are bringing it back in our own online version.  We are writing back and forth to each other every Tuesday. 

You can find my first letter to her HERE

And read the response she posted today HERE

I am loving this project and look forward to responding next Tuesday.