new home

I began blogging in 2005.  When I wrote my first post I had no idea the adventure it would take me on. The doors that would open, and the opportunities that would arise.  When I wrote that very first post, I just thought it was a neat way to pair writing with photography.

Here I am, eight years later.  Wow!  Eight years.  So much has happened in my life since that very first time I hit "publish".  It has been an incredible journey.  My blog has taught me so many things about myself.  It has pushed me to grow, to reach, to dream, and to chase after those dreams and fly.

It has connected me to many amazing individuals and introduced me to some of my very best friends.  It opened up opportunities to retreat in places I have always dreamed of visiting.  And to be seen, really seen and heard.

It has provided me a forum to use my voice when I was too timid and shy to speak words out loud.  My blog has always been there waiting for me, even when I neglected it.  It never once judged, or spoke harsh words back.  It simply soaked in whatever flowed out of my fingertips.

My blog saved my life in so many ways and it continues to push me to grow stronger each and every day.  I have loved my space and time spent here on blogger.  My safe house, my home away from home, my little corner of the world wide web.

I feel, however, that I have outgrown this space.  I need a little more room to stretch a little bit higher.  I need to be able to extend my arms out, create, dream, and be.  My creative life will always be a part of my journey.  It has taking me long to declare this, but it is true.  The path is extending and I need a little more space to lean into.  

So I am pulling together Giggling in the Rain & Love Notes and sharing all of me over on JennferBelthoff.com

This was a big decision for me.  I was torn between integrating them.  When I first started Love Notes it felt right for it to be separate.  But as time has passed I have learned how much Love Notes really is apart of me, and feels so strange to have it on a distance space in the web.  I am love notes, love notes is me.  As well as I am Giggling in the Rain, and Giggling in the Rain is me.

It feels right to merge them.  To claim them both and to sink deeper and deeper into my own life's manifesto of spreading unexpected joy, diving into the vulnerable pieces of life, and seeking out goodness in this world, as I treasure it with gratitude.  

I hope you will join me as I continue my journey.  I have so many ideas up my sleeve and I would just love for us to travel together.  It is always more fun when you travel with a friend.

Thank you for being a part of my story.  For showing up and reading.  I appreciate each and every one of you.

xo
Jennifer

Come say hello over at www.jenniferbelthoff.com 

true love

Love grows stronger and more beautiful when
you laugh with one another (especially when it involves giving the other horns in a photograph)
When you each are yourselves, utterly and completely

Without you being you, and them being them
Who are you?
Love needs each of you to thrive and flourish

I have been through the ringer in relationships
Controlling, lack of self confidence, cheating, non committal
It was a roller coaster ride of learning

But it taught me so much
About what I want, what I need
What I know I can never compromise on

And it was all so worth it
To meet my best friend
The one who makes me laugh and cheers me on, endlessly

We get along so easily
It is natural, real, kind, honest, trusting, and beautiful
We know we are meant for one another

I can alway be my silly, heart wide open, "hippy" self
And he accepts me with open arms
And I fully embrace his wild ways

It is the perfect dance
Together hearts commingling
Loving, encouraging, growing, and true

speaking your truth

Your beauty is within your truth
The moment you share it with the world may be terrifying
But in stating your truth you will shine, brilliantly

choose your path

Choose the path that is  right for you

The one that lights YOU up inside

The one that YOU are drawn to

Do not worry about the path others are taking

Do not, do not, do not compare

The comparison game only leads to self destruction

What is right for you is not right for everyone

You must follow your heart

Go your own way

What is the one thing you would do right now if there were no limitations?

What is the one thing you always dream about doing?

What makes you laugh and giddy with excitement?

Find a way to integrate these things into your life

Even if it is just a small moment in time

Small steps lead to big changes

Choose joy

Seek out what makes you happy

And continue to take a chance on YOU

navigating the creative life

dropping my Love Note in the mail

As I navigate this creative life my mind swirls.  Furiously I fill pages of my notebook with the beginning pieces of different ideas.  They will each need to be tended to in their own way.  Some of them will get tucked into the back of my mind as I let them gently come to life on their own.  

When we give a voice to a desire, an idea, a longing, we begin to put it into motion.  And at the time it may not seem like that is happening, but it is.  Just stating it out loud let's your mind know to keep a look out for anything on your journey that could help bring that inner dream to life.

I am carving out space in my mind to percolate ideas for connecting, inspiring, and working with individuals who are longing to create more space for their own creative life.  I am dreaming up online and in person gatherings.  I envision moments of raw heart emotion, deep conversation, support, and love.  

I am learning that we are not meant to do it alone.  As Jen Lee describes in Indie Kindred; "Do it yourself doesn't mean do it alone."  I am on the look out for creative companions carving out their own path in the world but also looking to collaborate with others.  Is there someone that you know in your corner that I should meet?

                      

Running and nightly Tea Time have become two rituals that are keeping me grounded.  They both quiet my mind, allow me space to breathe, and provide me a moment where it is just me.  What rituals do you turn to when you mind is swirling?

heart notes

I don't know about you, but for me, the end of the year seems to come and go in the blink of an eye.  I don't even know where it goes or what had happened.  But all of the sudden I am smack into a brand new year feeling a bit lost and all over the place.

So this year I am getting intentional and taking the time to savor the beautiful moments that the end of the year serves up.  A time to reflect and embrace what was and whats to come.  Moments to spend with family and loved ones.  Deep thoughts about dreams and desires for the new year.  And an even deeper appreciation for all that was.

I invite you to get intentional with me through daily emails arriving  Monday - Friday from December 2nd through January 3rd.  These emails will be filled with:

• Inspirational stories and poetry
• Gentle reminders to slow down
• Quick exercises to ground you, and bring you back to the moment
• Moments to reflect upon

You will not need any fancy supplies or equipment for these exercises.  A journal or little slip of paper will do, and your camera phone will help to capture some of the moments if you choose.  

Come join me as we savor the last of 2013.  

The cost of Heart Notes :: words to savor is only $30.  These words will provide you guidance on getting intentional, inspiration to seek out the beauty, and warm your heart as the year comes to a close. I would love for you to join me.  

what i know to be true

photo by: Thea Coughlin

Over the past 33 years I have been growing, expanding, and learning so much.  Here are 33 things I know to be true as I celebrate my own 33 years here:

1.  Life is so much more fun when you are surrounded by good friends and family
2.  Laughter heals.  Especially in those moments when we think we cannot laugh, me must.  Our hearts become lighter and the darkness doesn't feel so dark.
3.  Seeing the world through a four year olds eyes brings you back to the days when you thought you could do or be anything.  It is a good reminder to know that is still true if you are willing to go after it.
4.  Falling in love with someone you can travel with easily makes the adventures that much more sweet
5.  Using your voice in positive ways will take you further than you ever thought you could go
6.  If you want to make something happen, you have to begin
7.  Family is a sure thing in this world.  I know no matter what; I can lean on them, laugh with them, and create the most decadent memories
8.  Through travel one can learn some of life's best lessons and create the most savory memories
9.  We do not have to do it all alone.  Collaborating and working together with others enhances whatever it is you are creating
10.  Sunshine has the ability to fill your soul
11.  Running makes you stronger
12.  Showing up is half the battle.  When you show up time and time again, especially when you do not want to...celebrate that.  It is a big deal
13.  Having people you can share your story with is really important.  Not just anyone, but the ones that really get you
14.  True friends are rare. When you stumble upon them take the time to nurture the relationship
15.  You may not always love the work you do.  But you never know where it is going to lead you
16.  Showing your vulnerable pieces to others can have the ability to connect you in ways you never dreamed of
17.  There is so much you can learn about yourself when you live alone
18.  The experience of going away to college will teach you so much more outside the classroom
19.  Boyfriends will come and go, but one day when you finally figured out what you really want you will meet him and your life will be forever changed
20.  Taking time to discover what really moves you will fill you with happiness
21.  Dancing lifts your spirits no matter what mood you were in
22.  Lean deep into others, listen to what they say, and cultivate tender relationships
23.  To make big things happen you have to be willing to take a risk.  Leap!
24.  Going outside of your comfort zone will push you and help you to grow in immense ways
25.  Don't be afraid to say no.  And don't be afraid to say yes.
26.  Listen to what your heart really wants
27.  Supporting one another is so important, so very important
28.  Relationships with your siblings can bring you so much joy and laughter.  Nurture these relationships
29.  The dirty dishes and unmade bed can wait.  Now is the time to be fully present with the ones you love
30.  Don't worry about what others think of you.  Just be true to yourself and let that shine through
31.  A good pair of jeans is hard to find.  When you find ones that fit you, buy two!
32.  Twinkle lights make the world a better place
33.  Living big, bold, and beautifully is the only way to do it. So be silly.  Reach higher.  And go after your dreams

and then the moment came

And there it was
The moment you knew
That this life, yes this one
Was all yours
The choices that are to be made are yours alone
What others think does not matter
All that is of importance is your heart
Your happiness
And the love you share with others

So step into this bold beautiful world
Hold your heart in the palm of your hands
Seek out the adventure
Find the peaceful spots where you can dream
Have daring conversations with others
Invite those who are sacred enough into your heart space
And share your story
Live out loud
And never apologize for wanting to reach, grow, and be

go in, deep

You have been telling yourself time and time again that you are a writer, artist, photographer. . .
You say it in your head
Whisper it, and even speak it out loud sometimes
But are you living it
Are you submerged in this life that you are claiming for yourself
Do not just speak it
Live it, breathe, be it
Jump so deeply in it so that it becomes the only way you know

showing up

When I was younger I ran track and cross country.  I tore Nike Ads out of magazines and hung them on my bedroom wall.  When I wanted to switch them out I would carefully peel them off the wall and tape them into a spiral notebook.  It was the beginning of my obsession with inspirational words and collage journaling.  I didn't even realize that until this moment.  I wish I still had that spiral notebook. I can still picture some of the ad's in my mind.

I have had a love / hate relationship with running.  On again, off again.  Getting talked into doing different runs then regretting actually saying yes.  My most recent dabble into running began because I go to the gym at work during lunch time.  In the winter it is great . . . gets me away from my desk for a bit.  But when the warm weather hit I longed to be outside.  So I put on my sneakers, grabbed my headphones, and headed outside for a run.  It was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

But beginning wasn't easy.  While I was running on constant replay in my mind was "I want to stop, I want to stop, I want to stop."  No matter how loud I turned up my music that soundtrack played on repeat.  But the warm sunshine and the fresh air kept bringing me back outside day after day.  Thank goodness for my obsession with sunshine.  It feels great to break up my day with a run and then head back inside to work.  I feel refreshed, and alive.

When I first started running again I wasn't as strong as I am now physically and mentally.  It took work and showing up day after day, even when I didn't want to show up.  Each step I take makes me stronger.  My mind hasn't played the "I want to stop" song in awhile, and that feels good.  To me running is a mind game.  Physically I can do it, but mentally I must work hard to get it done.

After I run I snap a photo to remind me that I can do it.  I can show up.  I can take the first step.  I can make it.  And I know that I will continue to get stronger.  But I must show up.

Where are you showing up these days?

giggles from the couch

I am back with another edition of giggles from the couch.  Join me as I talk about showing up and using your voice.  

I would love to hear how you use your voice.  

choosing your journey

Standing in the light
Soaking in the all the goodness that is washing over me
Feeling stronger than I have in a long time
This strength is coming from within
From trial and error
Falling down, and learning how to get back up
Leaning into the sunshine
Navigating my own path
Not following the lead others are taking
It is not always easy
But it is my journey
The one I choose to take

What journey are you choosing to take?

trust

Leaning into trust
Trusting the process
The unknown outcome and built up expectations
Trusting that it will all work out, just as it should

Trusting the whisper that is telling me to keep stepping forward
Using my voice, embracing my dreams
Reaching, growing, shining

This word has been playing on repeat in my head
Trust, trust, trust

I am navigating this terrain of handing it over to the universe
Letting what may be, be
Loosing the grip
And enjoying the ride

Things are on unsteady ground
And we have no control over it
All we can do is show
And trust

be open

You want to control it
You want to put reign it all in, align it perfectly into place
You want to know what the next step is gong to be

But here's the thing
It's not really up to you
You can make the most perfect plans
And they may crumble and fall apart
You may have to take a completely different path

But that is ok
This new course may lead you right where you need to go
You never know
And if you go kicking and screaming
You will not be able to enjoy it

So loosen your grips
Open your arms wide
Embrace what is coming your way
Walk into it
And be fluid in how you approach this change

This may end up being the best thing that has ever happened to you
You never know until you step into it
Step, one foot in front of the other
And keep on walking
Soaking in all that is unfolding

using my voice

When I first started filming videos for my Love Notes Special Delivery Class I went into a vulnerability hangover.  It was tough to see myself on camera.  I was used to blogging with words on a screen.  Seeing myself on camera and hearing my voice was a whole different ballgame.  

I have a soft spoken voice . . . thank goodness for microphones.  There are so many times I am not sure of myself when I speak.  I hold back and later regret not speaking up.  I am more comfortable showing up on the page.  

So I am challenging myself to use my voice more.  Show up in front of the camera and speak from the heart.   It is strange to see yourself on screen and hear your voice.  I have been analyzing every detail, but I show up.  

What is one thing you wish you were better at and know you could be better if you just tried?  I challenge you to give it a shot.  Show up and "just try."  Know that you have nothing to loose.  Come on, give it a try.  

vulnerability hangover

I am in the throws of a vulnerability hangover and it feels terrible.  I have been recording video for my online class Love Notes Special Delivery, and every time the camera is on these are the thoughts that roll through my head:

     *  I need a haircut
     *  I hate my hair
     *  Oh my goodness, my teeth are terrible who would possibly want to watch this
     *  My nose, its huge

There are so many outtakes of me making funny faces at myself because I can't get past how crooked my teeth are.  Or me sitting there messing with my  hair because it won't fall into place.  Seeing a photo of myself is one thing.  Watching myself speak on camera is a whole other ball game.

It is amazing how critical we are of ourselves.  Instead of embracing the beauty of the words that I am speaking I am highly focused on my teeth.  There are times I can't get past it.  I need to shut the camera off, and come back in five minutes.

It has been drilled into our heads that our worth is measured by our beauty and the size of our clothing.  But the fact is that is not true.  What matters is what is in our hearts, how we treat one another, the joy we bring to this world, and the support we provide during moments of sadness.  It does not matter if we have the most fashionable clothes or perfectly straight teeth.  What matters is that we are true to ourselves.  Loves those around us.  And embrace this one imperfect life that we are living.

Teaching this online class has been a lesson in showing up, imperfectly perfect.  Just as I am.  Crooked teeth and messy hair.  It has taught me time and time again to let the tape keep rolling, not worry about what I look like, but listen deeply to the words I am speaking.  It has been a challenge and a blessing.

Know this :: that you are beautiful, exactly as you are.

When those gremlins creep in trying to tell you otherwise, push them away and embrace the beautiful person that you are.

letters across the miles

Dear Kristine,

I am not sure where to begin.  It was nice to receive your letter, but my heart is so heavy for the passing of your brother.  I could not even imagine what you and your family are going through.  Your life forever changed.  

Know that you are in my thoughts and I have been sending you so much love.  The road ahead will feel as if you are traveling all up hill.  You may feel lost and unsure where to turn.  Know that there are people out there, like me, who will sit right beside you.  Ready to hold your hand, listen to your stories, or just sit there with you in silence.  

It is in moments like this that we must lean on others, even when it feels difficult to do so.  Friends have a way of lifting us back up, holding us gently, and letting us just be.  Lean in deeply and know that you are loved and seen, even as you struggle through your pain and loss.    

There is nothing in this world like the bond that forms between family.  It is a love that never falters.  There will be disagreements. Moments where you do not get along.  But when it comes down to it you will always be there for one another.  

The love you have for your brother will live on in your heart and be expressed every day when you think of him.  He will always be with you.  Looking down, cheering you on, and watching you grow.  

Sending you so much love as you navigate through this and know that I am here for you.  

xo

Jennifer

{13}

Love Notes Special Delivery Sneak Peek

Sneak Peek Love Notes Special Delivery Sacred Gathering space

When I was younger Santa Clause brought me a teachers set for Christmas.  It included a bell, report cards, a lesson plan book, stickers, and all sorts of fun things that any aspiring teacher would need.  I played "school" with my brothers at the kitchen table.  When they wouldn't play with me I would have imaginary students and play alone in my bedroom.  I loved that teachers set, not so sure my brothers did.

Growing up I always wanted to be a teacher.  I taught preschool for a couple of years and loved it.  But life took me on a different trek and I ended up in the corporate world.  It is funny where we end up sometimes and usually it looks a lot different than we have dreamed.

The part of me that always wanted to be a teacher still lives deep in my heart.  I see it come out time and time again and my mind wanders to what life would be like if I was.  I never gave up on that dream even though now it looks very different than it looked when I was ten.

Beginning Sunday, September 15th - October 19th I will be in the virtual classroom.  Teaching about something that is near and dear to my heart, writing.  Writing is a life line for me.  A tool that helped me work through so many moments in my life and a tool that I turn to almost daily.  I am so grateful for the page.

In Love Notes Special Delivery, an online writing class, we will go on a journey to discover the healing powers of the page.  We will look at the stories we tell ourselves.  Take the pen into our own hands and rewrite some of those stories.  We will also give voice to the dreams that are living in our hearts.  And use our words to express the love and appreciate we have for those around us.

It is going to be an incredible journey.  All lessons will be delivered via email so that you have them forever.  There will also be a sacred space online where the lessons will live and a place where we can gather and share our writing.  I am so excited to be teaching this class and so grateful for the individuals who are coming along on the journey with me.

There is still time to join in this five week journey.  Head on over to HERE for some more details or simply jump on in and sign up.  I would love for you to join us.

Cost:  $49 USD

we stand here

We stand here
Not always agreeing
Seeing things from our own perspective
But we stand here
Together

We disagree
We fight
We laugh
We have the best time together
We don't always see eye to eye

But we know, no matter what happens
We always have each others back
We love one another
With the deepest kind of love
And we stand here
Heart open, love flowing, wanting the best for one another

taking the steps

It is not going to come to you
You must go out into the world and make it yourself
You will not find it ringing your doorbell, letting you know it has arrived
You must put in the hard work, take the time, figure it all out

It will not weaves its own tale for you
You are the one holding the pen and must write the stories of its adventure yourself
When you are standing around with your hands in your pockets hoping it will come
It will not be tapping you on your shoulder saying "hey, I am over here"

It will not arrive overnight
You must be patient, tend to it, never give up
Always take the next step
What we desire to accomplish can only happen when we go after it

It will not be handed to you in a neatly wrapped package
You will have to trudge through the mess, pull out the sparkling jewels
Tears may be shed
But there will also be moments of pure glee as you see it all unfolding from your tireless work

You must go after it
Never let it go
If you want it
You must create it