Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ordinary Sparkling Moments

My Ordinary Sparkling Moment

I was given the honor of being a
Book Fairy
To set this
beautiful book out into the world
For an unsuspecting person to find

It brought me so much joy to leave it
And made me think deeply about receiving
If I were walking down the path and spotted it
I may have passed it by, like I saw some people do
It is not always easy to receive

But there are times when we need to let others in
Let them help us
Guide us
Hold our hand while we travel down our path

And so I let the book fly
In Ridgewood NJ
At a park I go to often
Knowing in my heart that whoever found it
Was ready to receive and let in such a beautiful gift

Thank you
Swirly, for giving me my book fairy wings
It was such a pleasure

**for those of you who have visited before, this is version two because I accidentally deleted my first post. lost now in cyber space forever**

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I have

The stars have aligned for me
Somehow, someway
I am lucky
So incredibly lucky

I have my feet
They help me travel
Step by step they lead me on new adventures
Take me to new experiences
And help me stand tall in who I am

I have my legs
They carry me
Always standing back up after every time I fall down
Scars on my knees tell the stories
Of the risks I have taken
The stumbles that have made me stronger
And they weave together pieces of my story

I have my core
Which houses my heart and soul
They each guide me
Entice me to try new things
Be adventurous
Take that next step
And embrace the beauty that is close at hand
My heart soaks in the happiness that swirls around me
And guides me during my sadness
My soul heals all things
And grounds me

I have my arms
That lift me up
Hug the ones I love
And encircle all things that fill me up

I have my hands
That love to hold another's hand
They wipe away my tears
And clap in excitement
They write the words that flow from my heart and head
And touch the lives of others

I have my head
Which protects my brain
Allowing me to think
Decide what I want to do
Be who I am
Dream up incredible things
And create the things I desire

I have my ears
That listen to sweet music
Which makes my feet want to dance
It hears secrets passed between friends
Ideas blossoming and a friends encouraging words

I have my eyes
That take in all the beauty around me
The radiant sunset
Someone smiling
All the words that I soak up
My eyes see you, all of you

I have my mouth
To taste the delicious foods that nourish my body
Feel the kiss of a tender soul
To whisper I love you, and tell you how much I care

I have me
All of me
And for this
I am
Incredibly lucky

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I can feel all of you
Deep in my heart
I can hear you cheering me on
I read your encouraging words

But to hug you
Look deep into your eyes
Hold your hands
That is what I long for

How I wish I could scoop you all up
And plant you right beside me
So we could go for long walks
Talk over coffee
Go on adventure walks snapping photos
And paint together side by side

How I long to hear your voice
Listen to your story
Look deep into your eyes
And simply,
just be with Y.O.U

How I miss you
I wish I could buy a ticket
So I could be by your side
See what your day to day life is like
See where you live
What you do
Meet your family
And see Y.O.U
Just as you are

I miss you all
I love you all
Are you sure,
you do not want to move to NJ?
Or at least visit for a short while?

It was

When you looked at them you saw it
There was no question
It swirled all around
Like magic
It was so natural
So a part of them
You felt it, even standing on the outside
It was pure
It was real
It was what love looks like

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I am

I am strong and brave
I wonder if I will ever be madly and deeply in love again
I hear the sound of happiness ringing in my soul
I see the world again with new eyes
I want to truly know myself
I am strong and brave

I pretend that I know what I am talking about at times
I feel like I have the power to change my path
I touch the hearts of others
I worry that I may never find myself
I cry when I long for connection, deep connection
I am strong and brave

I understand that their are certain things in life that take time, sometimes a very long time
I say love heals all
I dream about inspiring others
I try to write my feels from my heart and soul
I hope to appreciate the beauty in the every day
I am strong and brave

~ create your very own "I am" poem here and if you do please share it with me.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Have you ever felt your heart smile from the inside?
A smile so wide and expansive that your body parts seem to lose control of themselves
Your feet dance with each step you take
Doing moves you did not even know you possessed
Your mind playing a song that only you can hear
A song of pure bliss
Your eyes radiate happiness
And you feel as if you can see again
You notice the beauty in the world that has always surrounded you
You cannot help but smile
In fact your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide
Have you ever felt this way?
This is exactly how I feel today

Monday, March 15, 2010


Ramapo Reservation ~ taken with you

Silence has filled the space between you and I
Until that day when we ran into one another
You pose the standard question to me
"How are you?"
Respectfully you pause just long enough to hear the standard answer
I say

Such a silly question for a moment like this
After all we have been through
This is what it comes down to

The words that tumble out of my mouth do not even matter
I could have said my world was falling apart
I am being ripped at the seams
You would have offered your condolences
A kind glance
Then you would turn and walk away
Silence engulfing me as your footsteps faded down the hallway

Or I could have said that my life is great
Things haven't been better
I am filled with joy and happiness
You would nod your head
And kindly say "great to hear"
Then you would turn and walk away
Silence engulfing me as your footsteps faded down the hallway

You would not celebrate my success with me
or comfort me in my sorrow
No matter what my reply was to your question
You would still turn around and walk away

It may have been best
If you never asked the question at all
If you just nodded and said "Hi Jen"
Like all the other times we passed each other in the hall
Then silence would not engulf me as you kept walking
Right down the hall

Friday, March 12, 2010

sharing our stories

Oregon Coast, October 2009

I have always struggled with speaking
I get tounge tied
My words come out rushed
My thoughts mixed up
My voice never loud enough
Always leaving people saying "what"
and me feeling frustrated

But give me a pen and a piece of paper
and it flows out of me
My thoughts more elegant on this medium
I can say how I feel
And it comes out easily

Right now, in this moment
With pen in hand
I am unable to say how I feel
I cannot seem to find the right words
My hand is tounge tied

I am blown away
Comepletly blown away
I am the witness of an unearthing
Showing the world her brave, authentic beautiful self
The one I see
Every time I look at her

I never before called myself a writer
Sure, I wrote all the time
Always jotting thoughts down
in my private journal
As a child more drawn to the card
than the actual gifts
during my birthday

But me, a writer
I never would have used that word
Until recently
Dear Mindy has made me feel
Like I am a writer
That thought blows me away

I, somehow, cracked her open
and she infused me
with a word I have been struggling with
It is amazing what two people
can do for one another
Even from such a distance
It reminds me
To never stop sharing my story

All of us need to share our own stories

I can

Thursday, March 11, 2010


To that whisper
You know the one

The one that tugs
At your heart
That you feel
Deep in your soul
The one that
Leaves you swirling
In happiness
When you listen

Listen to this little voice
It is your guide
On your path
To your most authentic self

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Deep within

Puebla, Mexico

I did not even realize it was in me
A simple conversation
Both parties disagreeing
My pen running itself across the paper
to think through the discussion

I began on one thought
But my pen would not let it stay there
Fiercly words poured out from my heart
I wrote about something deeper
Something I did not even know I was so connected to

As my pen moved across the pages
tears welled up in my eyes
I could not hold them in
They poured down my cheeks

I knew I had emotions attached to this
But I never realized how passionate I was
How deeply it touched me
How much I felt

I never knew all of this was hidden
right below the surface
My pen wrote it out of me

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Eyes open

I bring myself to the table
with my heart on my sleeve
I hug you
Tell you I love you
and try to show you
that life is not perfect
Sometimes it is plain awful
We get dragged through the mud
and we are not sure
how to pick ourselves back up
but we can do it
As human beings we are so strong
So powerful
and so brave
I show you my tears
I laugh with you
I take chances
I put myself out there
I live with my eyes open
In hopes to open yours

Thursday, March 04, 2010


it is over
slowly it is sinking in
let go
let go
it is over
even though
it probably
never even

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

trying to remember

She does not remember affection. Sure, she was loved. But she wishes that she could remember the hugs. The words 'I love you' being said. The smiles on their faces when she accomplished something. She knows the moments happened. But she cannot remember them.

She remembers getting in trouble for the chocolate milk spilled on the walls in the living room. To this day she still cannot figure out how it got there.

She remembers getting getting in trouble and having to go to her room. She sat right against the door and cried.

She remembers sitting in the living room alone watching television when her mom found out that her friend died. The sound her mom made that day is still with her. At times when her mom laughs it sounds just like that moment and she is immediately taken back.

She wonders why it is so easy to remember these things yet her mind has seemed to be wiped clean of hearing the words 'I love you' and getting hugged. She wants to remember these moments. She closes her eyes and tries so hard to remember. But she struggles to find these memories in her mind.

She knows they are there. But she cannot remember.